Going parental: The Power of One

My girlfriend (partner, wife, etc.) and I have been together for seven years. We have a three-year-old daughter that was conceived using an anonymous donor through a cryobank. She is a happy, well adjusted kid who attends pre-school on a daily basis. The children in her class happen to be absolute sweethearts and we have been very lucky thus far with the reaction we received from her teachers and the parents of her classmates when they found out we were a two-mom house. Not a single person seemed phased. Living in NY affords us that luxury. I mean, it’s New York. We’ve got Broadway ^[1] and Chelsea ^[2] — two of the gayest places on the planet. Suffice it to say, gay people are no novelty around here.

Unfortunately, that isn’t the case everywhere. A friend of mine sent me an article yesterday that was in the National Education Association ^[3] Magazine. The article, entitled “The Power of One ^[4],” rocked me to my core.

As I read about the alarmingly high rate of gay kids that drop out of high school and why, I felt my heart begin to race. The article begins with a story about a girl named Jeana Huie, now 23. In 10th grade bullies shoved her face in a toilet, just one of the many ways in which she was tormented on a daily basis. By October of her 11th grade year after a brutal beating in the high school parking lot, which TEACHERS WATCHED but didn’t stop, she had endured all she could. She dropped out. She had nobody. Not one single adult or teacher in that school was willing to help her, even as she was being brutally beaten in front of them. They stood idle — and did nothing.

It goes on to discuss the power of Gay-Straight Alliances ^[5] (GSA) in schools. How life changing they are for GLBTQ ^[6] kids and how it takes just one person, just one —  to stand up for and with these kids to make a difference.

Our generation, the people out there right now with young kids, can start teaching tolerance this very moment — at home, in your car, in your classrooms. My three-year-old daughter understands that she has two mommies. She knows that most of her friends have a mommy and a daddy, just a mommy, or even two daddies. She is blind to the construction of a family — she simply recognizes that they are comprised of people who love each other.

A very close friend of mine called me a few months ago to tell me a story she knew I would appreciate. She was walking along the beach with her daughter, age 4. They saw two women playing with a little girl close to the water. The kids started playing while my friend chatted with the women. After a few minutes my friend’s daughter came over and asked the two women, “are you her mommies?” To which one of the women replied “no, we’re sisters — I’m her mommy and this is her Aunt.” “Oh OK,” was her reply. And she was off to the water in seconds.

My friend had called me almost immediately after it happened because she was so happy to see that her daughter thought nothing of the fact that her little friend on the beach might have two mommies. It was a totally normal and natural thing to assume.

If only all of our kids were like that — perhaps we could eliminate that which necessitates a Gay-Straight Alliance at schools… because our children would already be aligned. The idea that tolerance has been taught to our kids prior to attending high school should not be something we hope for, but rather something we have done. All of you parents out there right now are the teachers — every single one of you hold the future in your hands. You feed it, you clothe it, and you hug and kiss it every day. You love it unconditionally. Help protect it.

Start now. Don’t be the teacher that stands idly by and does nothing.

Going Parental appears every Thursday.