Healthcare: can I have a prescription for exhaustion?

In one of the uncountable number of healthcare articles ^[1]to come out over the last three months it seems President Obama is going to try and “reset” the debate. Apparently the 44th President has not heard of the laws of physics: an object at rest wants to stay at rest. As much as I’d like to see any piece of legislation on this topic make it out of the crib, I think the reset tactic is flawed.

Congress is a herd of cats. Not normal cats because there are no normal politicians. Congress is more like my friends’ cat Balls. Balls was found on their porch in West Philly. They captured him while he was staring off into space so intently that he failed to notice two drunk college students stumble up behind him and shove him into a box. Five years later Balls is healthy and happily lives with them.  However, Balls isn’t a better, more intelligent cat. He stares into space, fails to notice people or furniture, and occasionally freaks out for no reason. This is how congress votes. I figured it out in high school and it’s still correct.

Congress can’t see gorillas in the room. They’re not ignoring them. They just don’t understand that the large fur-covered thing moving around isn’t a chair. They don’t move at a normal rational rate, but instead rush on some topics and lay about on others. Congress is Balls.

But President Obama, to complete the metaphor, is drunk and trying to capture Balls-Congress. Even if he grabs them and shoves them in a box and the vet gives them a clean bill of health and Obama takes Balls-Congress home, they’re never going to be a real house cat. You can clap in Balls’ face and he’ll sit there. You can accidentally shove him off the arm of a chair and he’ll sit there.

What Obama needs is to build up some momentum. Take down a few small victories in other areas. Then take a running start at Balls-Congress on the healthcare issue. My bet is they’ll freak out and run for it. Of course with Balls there is always the chance he won’t notice.