Lauren likes TV: What’s up with the shnorts?

My apologies for being a bit behind on this week’s The Bachelorette and Big Brother, but I spent 10 hours in the ER on Monday. I have to say, a day in the ER is not nearly as exciting as a day in the Seattle Grace ER. While my ER could’ve used a little Miranda Bailey ass-kickin’, I have to give a shout out to New York-Presbyterian ^[1]. Though they diagnosed my stomach pains with absolutely nothing, they did try their hardest and were very pleasant and accommodating. Thanks, Docs!  Speaking of Grey’s Anatomy, some fabulous news came in this morning for next season… Martha Plimpton ^[2] has been cast in a multi-episode storyline! “Oh come on come on where are you? You are in the clouds and we are in a basement!” Goonies never say die, Martha, and we’re glad to have you.

The Bachelorette

Quick question… what the hell was up with Ed’s shorts? I like to call those type of shorts, shnorts. I call them shnorts because you are so surprised to see them, especially on a straight man, so you sort of laugh and whatever liquid you are drinking at the time you noticed then comes through your nose and causes a snorting sound. Shnorts. And was the excuse of being tired good enough for not really spending the night with the girl you are supposedly in love with? I don’t think so SpEd. Maybe you should take those shnorts and head to Therapy ^[3] in NYC. You’ll make much better use off them there. Jillian finally has let Reid go and now it’s down to just Ed and Kiptyn. The show makes it look like Ed has it in the bag, which means she’ll probably choose Kiptyn. In true Bachelorette fashion, there’s twist which will I’m sure will make this “the most shocking finale ever”. The most shocking part about that is that it hasn’t been leaked. Maybe it has been, but I’m unaware of what causes Jillian her tears and maybe this year I’ll just watch to find out. I can’t wait for the “Men Tell All” episode next week featuring a singles mixer of past Bachelor/Bachelorette dumpees.

Big Brother

In the words of my fellow TV fiend, Karen… “Big Brother is back and kicking reality TV ass!” Ain’t that the truth. Big up to Lydia ^[4] for saving her own ass. There was only one thing left that she could’ve done and that was convince the HOH that there was someone out there that they should back door. That’s the way you play and she got it done. Braden ^[5] would have never seen that coming if it weren’t for that weasel Ronnie. Ronnie, you used to be a dorky “persuasive speaking champion” with all the game and now you’re a big loser with no game at all. It was a good idea in theory, but executed all wrong with guilt written all over your chubby body when confronted. It’s safe to say that you’re going down very soon. That being said, Jeff ^[6] had a great opportunity to do just what Ronnie was trying to do… play both sides. His team is dominating and he’s done nothing to get in on the action. He could strategically be the “good guy” while reporting back to his home base… but he has no game what-so-ever. While he didn’t deserve to be attacked by Russell ^[7], he did need a big kick in the ass and might be left in the dust as the Athletes army of playground bullies grows. Either Spicoli ^[8] or Flaming Lips Chima ^[9] is going home…. I don’t think Spicoli has a chance. We’ll find out Thursday!