Cremation instead of burial? An internal debate about my final resting place

A while back I wrote about organ donation; ^[1] but what happens after that part is sorted? And I am not talking about the spiritual ^[2], but the physical. If I don’t make sure that my preferences are known then I will be stuck in the ground with some (relatively) pretty stone indicating my born-on and deceased dates. I have two issues here, 1) I think I may want to be cremated because I don’t like the thought of bugs crawling through my eye sockets (even if I am dead) and 2) All of the cemeteries I have been to are crammed together with a bunch of dead people.

Well of course there are a bunch of dead people… and of course there are bugs crawling through your eye sockets, that’s what happens. But how can someone come visit me and be happy to see me (or remember me) when they know all of this is going on just six feet below where they are standing? I want the people that visit me to be able to do so in a happy place. Plus, a cemetery plot is just something else that someone will need to be responsible for, because even plots paid for in perpetuity have overgrown hedges! A friend last night told me she thinks that maybe it will be comforting for my loved ones to have a place to visit. To pay their respects. Maybe? And I guess I wouldn’t want to deny my loved ones that comfort. But I know a lot of people with relatives who have passed on and they struggle to get to the cemetery even once a year. And what if my family decides to move to a different town? It’s not like they are taking me with them.

I am going to visit my grandmother’s plot this weekend. We were extremely close and although it was her time to pass, I think about her and miss her often. She died in December 2006. Her cemetery is an 80 minute car ride away. This is the first time I will be back since her burial. Maybe I would visit more if she was closer… I really don’t know. But I feel guilty for not going there more often and I don’t want my family members to feel that guilt. Maybe they can just put a small portrait of me in their homes? Is that asking too much? As for my remains, I am conflicted about what I truly want. Maybe my ashes can be kept in a sealed container somewhere in a relative’s house; I don’t need a mantle. But this way I won’t miss out on all of the family parties.