Rootloose and fancy free

Dear Ruby,
All my life I’ve been a bit of a dreamer.  You know, places to go, people to meet, and new careers upon which to embark. While I was married, with a young son, I mostly kept the dreams at bay with occasional small indulgences like becoming a painter for a year. Now in my mid-40’s I am starting to wonder if it is reasonable to still be a dreamer, let alone to actually pursue one. Being divorced I no longer have a family to support, nor any reason to stay where I am or to do what I am doing. I feel the huge wide world constantly beckoning but worry where I will be in 20 years. Is it time to stop dreaming, grow up, and plant some roots?

Anonymous

Dear Anon,
If you’re trying to grow yourself a big crop of roots, then you should definitely get started on planting some. Dude, it’s late — start digging! If you want to be in the place where your grandkids end up once a year, after they’ve gone over the river and through the woods, then roots is your 20-year plan.

However, if you want to be the one showing up for holidays (in a stripped-down Range Rover or maybe a sidecar) probably a week late, and then working the room with outlandish true tales that are wildly inappropriate and give the baby nightmares (that you cure with a sip of your Rob Roy and some really awesome smoke rings), then maybe it’s not roots you’re after.

A writer friend of mine ^[1] once said that getting a poem published is like throwing a dog in a well — a yelp and a splash and it’s over. Well, what isn’t like throwing a dog in well? Life is not what isn’t.

You don’t need a reason to stay, but you may need one to go. Figure out what it is first. That’s my only advice. Take a long, luxurious think on it, just don’t take 20 years.

Where are you going? You’re not going to wear that, are you? Tell Ruby ^[2].

Advice for the Rest of Us appears every Friday right in front of your eyes.