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Ten words or phrases I am asking everyone to stop using in my presence

Posted By Tyler Samien On In diatribes,language & grammar | 13 Comments

1. Fled on foot
Example Usage: After ditching the car, the suspect fled on foot across a crowded playground.
Complaint: He didn’t flee in a hot air balloon, it was on his feet!
Annoyance Value: 5

2. Literally
Example Usage: When JumJums died, I literally cried for three weeks, my heart broke in two, literally, broke in two.
Complaint: Everyone knows someone who abuses this word in every story and description. Stop! I’m not alone on this one [1].
AV: 9

3. Apropos
Example Usage: I see you’re eating a Jeno’s frozen pizza. That’s very apropos considering March is National Frozen Food Month.
Complaint: What, you’re too good for the word appropriate? Apropos’ silent s isn’t nearly as cool as the silent g in paradigm, even if March is Frozen Food Month [2] or National Peanut Month [3] or whatever [4].
AV: 8

4. Utilize
Example Usage: If you utilize the proper tools, assembly is a snap.
Complaint: Yes, there is an appropriate time to use the word utilize, but not when you can utilize use instead — oops.
AV: 6

5. Outside of the box
Example Usage: We need to get creative, team. Let’s start thinking outside of the box!
Complaint: Let’s begin by not using that cliché. It only shows how unimaginative you are.
AV: 8

6. Facetious
Example Usage: I was just being facetious when I called you an overweight, balding, ninny.
Complaint: This word recently hit the streets, immediately going to the heads of most non-English majors using it. Its use is often followed by a smug and expectant pause during which the user waits to be praised or questioned.
AV: 7

7. Metrosexual
Example Usage: I’m going to open an NFL themed manicure shop that will target metrosexuals.
Complaint: Orwell warned that removing words from use can reduce experience; but worse are words that deconstruct and injure what they represent. How many well-groomed men want to be described by a word like metrosexual? Not many.
AV: 7

8. Ideal
Example Usage: I’m fix’n to git me a new pair a scissors cuz I ain’t got no ideal where bouts I left mine.
Complaint: There is no l in the word idea people! This is a part of southern dialect I just can’t get used to.
AV: 9

9. Different
Example Usage: This jersey was signed by 30 different players!
Complaint: Really? Did you check to make sure they weren’t 30 of the same player?
AV:4

10. Discharge
Example Usage: A moist discharge covered the wound.
Complaint: I just think it’s gross.
AV:10

Tyler Samien [7]

Tyler Samien has a BA in English/creative writing from the University of Tennessee. He enjoys writing everything from scathing online reviews of companies that displease him to nostalgic memoirs of childhood experience. His blog, ReluctantChauffeur [7], is about to get interesting as he travels the United States with his wife and goofy-faced puppy.