Ineffectual

August 3, 2008
I dream I am getting ready to leave a version of my father’s house in Northeast Philadelphia with Karen, Mary, and Dawn. I am upset to see people I don’t know hanging around my house. It’s as if there is an event scheduled in my house that I don’t know about. I try to chase the intruders away, and I go outside to talk to Karen, Mary, and Dawn. When I return, my house is overrun with people. I don’t know who they are or why they’re there, but they do whatever they want. I threaten them with violence, but it doesn’t matter. I punch them, but they don’t feel it. I try to take a shower, and a young lady is so uninterested in my presence that she takes a shower with me. I am irrelevant.

August 14, 2006
I dream Gail and I both live and work in a copying facility in a bucolic college campus. We’re not very busy, but we have imposing equipment. The place is buzzing with Gail’s friends and female work study students, and I overhear that Gail is planning on hiring somebody else and she hasn’t mentioned it to me. This makes me angry. I feel I am being treated as if I am some sort of boob who doesn’t need to know anything; as if I am being allowed to think I am pulling the strings but I am actually ineffectual. I keep trying to get to Gail to talk to her, but one of her friends says “She can’t talk now; we’re going to lunch.” I scream out, “But I want to go to lunch. How come no one ever invites me?” They start backtracking and saying I can come, but I say “No, I don’t want to come. Gail, can I talk to you for a minute?” I try to get her into my office to talk about the hiring behind my back thing. I am more aggressive and angry than I should be. Gail’s sister, Helaine, suddenly appears as if she is afraid I’m going to hit Gail. I walk up to Helaine in a macho manner and ask, “Do you want to hit me, Helaine?” She thinks about it and starts throwing lame punches in my direction. She doesn’t land one.

October 28, 1995
I dream I am at a Comedysportz rehearsal. While I am in the middle of doing a scene, Trevor grabs me by the seat of my pants, picks me up as if I am very small and light, and carries me, humiliated, to the back of the house. I flip out and start punching Trevor in the face and stomach. My punches have no effect and Trevor only laughs and ridicules me. When I go back to my seat, Trevor’s stuff is in it.