I recently read an article by someone who said the reason he stopped being a vegetarian was that vegetarians don’t see the big picture. The writer went on to say that not eating meat wasn’t solving bigger problems like the destruction of animal habitats or the depletion of resources, so he was done with it. Obviously, the author has a few shortcomings in sequential reasoning, but his point is valid to the point of inspiration.

When comparing ourselves to others, it’s easy to feel good, but if we’re honest, this feeling is unmerited. Just because I’m not doing wrong doesn’t mean I’m doing right. Taking into consideration transportation, waste, energy, and other factors, many vegetarians still have a negative overall impact as high or higher than carnivores

I have been declared Emperor of the World. Let us not waste time explaining why or how; let’s all simply accept the fact that we are better off, as a result; hence, my next decree: 

Emperor’s Decree No.2013: The world is not a series of plastic chutes, lined up side-by-side and feeding into one another at prescribed intersections. The “real world” is a tangled jungle, rich with the heavy palm leaves and sketched over with arabesques of the vines of dark beauty and unpredictability. Therefore, we should go to school not to be ushered into the entrance of a plastic chute, but to be taught how to wield a machete; how to find our way by the sun; how to make shelter against an unexpected storm; how to appreciate the sunset even while the mosquitoes are sucking.

Our kids see a series of teachers for twelve-plus years. Each teacher has something to offer, either as an example of the good or as an example of the bad. Some teachers will make curriculum crystal clear; others will present lessons about life that are invaluable, even if at the expense of a perfect chemistry lesson. Twelve years of human interaction and assignments and grades are enough. We should, then, hand our kids the machete and let them loose to make their own way. They are not robots to be programmed but firework shells to be packed, fired off and watched in their hot-bright glory, bursting against the dark sky and falling in random patterns. We need to stop pretending we can turn out the perfect human being.

The Punishment: Legislators who continue to use standardized testing will have everything in their lives that brings them joy — everything that is not strictly necessary for their survival — taken away from them. After all, why waste time on things that don’t produce practical results?

Now, go forth and obey. 

The Emperor will grace the world with a new decree each Tuesday morning.

The concept of “political correctness” is an interesting one. Essentially, the term is used to describe attempts to avoid offending people. That seems like a pretty good idea, doesn’t it? Sure, there are people who are very easily offended, and there are others who find offense in things where it really does not exist, but for the most part, doing or saying things a certain way to avoid making someone feel marginalized is a pretty good idea. Of course, there are a lot of people who think our society goes too far in trying to appease the folks who would be otherwise offended. In fact, as you might expect, there are individuals who go wildly overboard with it, suggesting that any attempt at all to toe this line is a waste of time, and that anyone who feels victimized by language should just get over it. Those people are rarely the ones on the receiving end of the offensive words, predictably.

Political Correctness was at issue this week in the public discussions on the name of the Washington Redskins, the NFL team that represents our nation’s capital. This is not a new subject, as the team’s name has been debated many times in recent years. This time, a city councilman in D.C. discussed a non-binding resolution to recommend a name change for the team, with the moniker of Redtails being proposed as the alternative. Team owner Dan Snyder responded by saying that the team’s name would “never change.” He tossed out this quote as explanation:

“As a lifelong Redskins fan, and I think that the Redskins fans understand the great tradition and what it’s all about and what it means, so we feel pretty fortunate to be just working on next season.”

Umm, what? That not only does not give a rationale for the decision, it actually doesn’t say anything at all. Let’s put this very simply: the name is patently offensive. There are no two ways about it. Of the many team names related to Native Americans throughout the sports world, I am pretty sure that “Redskins” wins the award for most ridiculously offensive. I don’t care how much history the team has, how resistant to change people are, or how much money it would cost the team to change the name. This is just flat-out wrong, and the NFL, always so concerned with its image, should not allow a team with this name to continue to participate in its league. If this were a brand new expansion team, would they be allowed to name themselves the Redskins? Absolutely not. That same standard should apply here, regardless of the fact that the team has had this name for many years. Offensive is offensive, and this is offensive. Let’s not kid ourselves about the cost to the team, also. A change in name and logo would prompt a huge increase in merchandise sales for the franchise and would promote a lot of goodwill for the team and the league.

In 1992, the public was polled about this name and 89% were in favor of keeping it. Today, that percentage has dropped to 79%. I find it revolting that nearly four out of every five people think this name is okay. It makes me sad for our society that people have so little regard for the feelings and dignity of others. If the name were offensive to other groups, it would most certainly be on its way out, but I guess mistreatment of Native Americans still doesn’t stir outrage in many of us. That’s a real shame.

Bad sports, continued:

2) The hits keep on coming for the NCAA, especially in the case of the handling of the Miami investigation. Frank Haith, a former Miami head basketball coach who now coaches at Missouri, is accusing the NCAA of illegally accessing his private bank records as part of its investigation into possible wrongdoing at the South Florida school.

3) Toronto Blue Jays pitcher J.A. Happ was hit in the head with a line drive on Tuesday while pitching against the Tampa Bay Rays. He suffered a skull fracture.

4) Not only did the umpires blow a homerun call on the field during the Cleveland Indians-Oakland Athletics game on Wednesday night in Cleveland, but they reviewed it on television and still managed to get it wrong. Both teams and everyone in the stands knew it was a homerun, especially after the replay. The umps somehow did not.

5) Not to be outdone, an umpiring crew handling the L.A. Angels and Houston Astros game looked even worse than their cohorts in Cleveland on Thursday. Crew Chief Fieldin Culbreth has been suspended for allowing the Astros to remove a pitcher who had just come into the game and had not yet faced a batter. Blowing a call is one thing, but not knowing the rules is simply inexcusable.

6) A British sailor who had won a gold medal during the 2008 Olympics was killed on Thursday during training for the America’s Cup competition. Andrew Simpson was 36 years old.

7) Former Detroit Lions wide receiver Titus Young had a pretty spectacular week. He was arrested three separate times this week, including twice in the same day last Sunday. That has to be a record, right?

8) Golfer Sergio Garcia was doing very well in the Players Championship this week when he made a bit of a mess for himself. After Saturday’s round, he complained that he had been distracted by something done by Tiger Woods, with whom he had been paired for the day, and said that had cost him a shot. Garcia and Woods have never gotten along, and this prompted a bit of a negative back and forth between the two hid did not reflect well on Garcia, in my opinion. He looked even worse when he completely fell apart while fighting for the win on Sunday. He dropped two balls in the water at Sawgrass’ famous 17th hole, and followed up that quadruple bogey with another ball in the water on the 18th. Woods won the title, while Garcia finished eighth. Oops.

Good sports

1) Last Sunday, a teenage boy with cancer, Joshua Jones, was seated in his wheelchair in the first row at AT&T Park in San Francisco. He is a Dodgers fan, and was there to watch his favorite team. At the end of the game, Dodgers outfielder Matt Kemp, who had been told about Jones by third-base coach Tim Wallach, came over and gave the boy his cap, jersey, and cleats while also signing a ball for him and shaking his hand. Fantastic.

2) A 15-year-old blind girl, Charlotte Brown, competed in the pole vault at the Texas state championships on Saturday, clearing three heights, the top one being 10’6″. What did you do on Saturday?

10. Vote for a Stand-Up Guy!

9. The Right Man with the Right Staff!

8. Anthony Weiner! – He’s the Full Package!

7. Too Big to Fail!

6. You Can’t Keep a Good Weiner Down!

5. Progress You Can Hang Your Hat On!

4. Anthony Weiner: Hard On Crime!

3. Fighting for Working Stiffs Everywhere!

2. I’m No Quitter! I Plan to Stick It Out!

1. Once an Upstanding Member of Congress!
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

#68

The jack-in-the-box dictator dominates,
Green scowl squeezing envy into hate.
Sinners pray to Jesus in the store window.
Draped in gold chains, clutching His scepter,
He laughs at their ruler’s show of temper.
Henchmen wait for new orders from below.
Eternal cities outlive their architecture.
Columns collapse, statuary crumbles,
“Return my youth,” a lame crone mumbles.
Speeches, even sermons, become lectures,
Endless repetitions, what everybody knows.
When the militia gathers, the catacombs
Fill with refuges and would-be deserters.
No murderers here, we are only torturers.

Note: This is one of more than 115 poems after paintings or images, which can be viewed at the blog, Zealotry of Guerin.

I have been declared Emperor of the World. Let us not waste time explaining why or how; let’s all simply accept the fact that we are better off, as a result; hence, my next decree:

Emperor’s Decree No. 104: Are you pathetic? Needy? Weak? Of course you are not, my good minion. So, please, dispense with tweets and posts like “Ugh — can’t take anymore” and “give me strength” and “won’t let this break me.” Perhaps posters of these posts don’t realize how desperate they sound. Instead of these thinly-veiled pleas for attention, why don’t you just post: “Please pay attention to me and give me the comfort that I am directly asking for because I’m not connected enough to my fellow  humans to go through the usual channels of interraction; instead, I will broadcast my manipulative self-pity to the world in hope that some mere acquaintance might respond, in public, as if he or she deeply cares”? (Because, as everyone knows, public intimacy is way more valid than a hug in a hallway from someone who truly cares about you.)

(It is important to note here: there is a big difference between the kind of posts above and a simple, direct: “Hey, everyone. Having a hard time. Would appreciate prayers and thoughts.” The more perceptive of my minions will realize this: a sincere request for support is worlds away from a hackneyed, social-media back-of-the-hand-to-the-forehead; it is documentable.)

The Punishment: People who do this will be allowed to carry on as they are. This is punishment enough.

Now, go forth and obey.

The Emperor will grace the world with a new decree each Tuesday morning.

Part 6 (of 874) in an occasional series about how standardized tests are destroying education.

One frustration with standardized testing is its seeming inevitability. The bureaucratic, Kafkaesque testing structure. Your disagreements don’t matter. Your arguments and pleas don’t matter. You will be tested. But what if you didn’t have to take a standardized test? A growing number of parents and students are exploring that: Opting out of standardized tests.

On its site, United Opt Out National offers information about opt out strategies and ways to connect with those who have chosen this path: http://unitedoptout.com/

Where is that path leading? This Washington Post article discusses the growing movement of people who, for many different reasons, are exploring opting out of being subjected to standardized testing: “The opt-out movement is nascent but growing, propelled by parents, students and some educators using social media to swap tips on ways to spurn the tests.” In the article, Maria Ferguson, of the Center on Education Policy, said, “The sentiment behind it is more common than people realize.”

Well, I believe that, since almost no one I have ever talked to in education circles stands behind today’s testing environment. They voice the common frustrations that are driving the opt-outers. Educational costs, for one. State spending on standardized testing grew from $552 million in 2001 to $1.7 billion in 2012, according to surveys performed by the Pew Center on the States and the Brookings Institution. With these costs come increasingly high stakes, which may lead to incidents like the recent Georgia school test cheating scandal. Mindless drilling. Biased tests. Wasting school time. Wasting the human potential of administrators, teachers, and students. Waste.

These are frustrations now being acted on in many different places by parents. Last year, Florida parents signed a petition against the use of the FCAT, Florida’s version of standardized assessment. In this Pittsburgh Post-Gazette editorial, Kathy Newman, an English professor at Carnegie Mellon, describes how she chose to have her young son opt out of his standardized tests. “I want my children to learn, but also to love to learn,” she writes.

Some of the opt-out decisions are being made by students themselves. More than 300 Chicago students boycotted day two of their standardized testing battery.  Student organizer Alexssa Moore, a high school senior, said “We’re just trying to make a statement that tests should not determine our future or the future of our schools.”

Many education groups have issued statements criticizing overuse of high-stakes tests, such as this National Council of Teachers of English statement. Perhaps this incessant assault on standardized testing by almost everyone who is actively involved in educating kids is having an effect. Even Texas, that bastion of standardized testing, is considering reversing course and downplaying standardized tests, as The New York Times reports.

With a push from social media, could people finally come together and realize the vast number of people who share common ground on this issue?

Could opting out work to severely lower the profile of standardized testing in U.S. schools? Could it help re-direct standardized testing dollars toward smarter ways to assess and think about schools? The idea of choice is by itself invigorating. If people think testing is a negative aspect of their children’s education, is something that can hurt their children, perhaps they have tangible strategy of action: Choose not to. They can opt out.

It’s the end of the Spring semester, 2013. That means college undergraduates all over the country are freaking out over final grades. It’s odd how these grades become important to them at the end of the semester in a way that they weren’t at any other time during the semester, but I digress. What follows is a final email sent to my students this morning in response to a number of emails I received from them over the weekend:

All:

I owe a number of you an apology.

I’m sorry for ignoring the several emails I’ve gotten over the last few days regarding final grades and points reported on Blackboard. I’m sure this is a stressful time for many of you and I should have been more sensitive to that and responded immediately. Frankly, my expectation in your ability to perform basic math in the face of what the Blackboard App on your smartphone or PC says was unrealistic–I mean, this isn’t math class, is it???

In reality (in case you didn’t recognize the sarcasm above), I had a bit of an epiphany (an awakening) over the weekend. You see, at first those emails annoyed me, almost to the point of anger (I say “almost” because I rarely anger); then, my second response was to laugh. I figured y’all were sending those emails to rib me, hahaha, LOL, ROTFLOL, whatever. But by this morning I’ve come to think that all this confusion reveals a deeper communication problem.

Here’s what I think: I think that our reliance on technology may be conditioning us to a Pavlovian response–do you know of Pavlov’s Dogs? Regardless, what I’m saying is that we’ve begun to associate what an app on our smartphone says with truth or fact, even when we know better. So here’s what’s happening: many of you are looking at grade reports generated by Blackboard that are calculated based on some number (572 or 639 or 1002.25 or some other random number) and, even though you know without a doubt that your final grade will be calculated using a 1000 point scale (you know this because it says so in the syllabus and because I’ve repeated it umpteen times in class, even going through the math on the whiteboard on several occasions), many of you get confused. This is a communication problem on a couple of levels.

First, this appears to be a mass-media effect. In other words, our use of smartphone apps and other online media is, perhaps, causing this phenomenon. We trust media more than our own ability to think. Second, on an interpersonal communication level, it’s noise–i.e. it’s interrupting the flow of communication between us. These are actually the kinds of things many communication scholars study.

The lesson I’d like us all (me included) to learn from this is to be aware of the possibility that we may be unconsciously being conditioned to doubt ourselves and to defer to the “wisdom” of electronic media. This is dangerous because it is people who program and enter the data that apps run on. Therefore, apps are still limited by human constraints and, as critical thinkers, we must remember this and think for ourselves.

Critical thinking is a skill and, like a muscle, must be exercised to stay in shape. Like all of the lessons in this course, this goes well beyond public speaking class and into our broader private and professional lives. You must learn to critically assess information, measure it against what you already know, question your assumptions, consider the source (without privileging electronic sources) and trust yourself to draw conclusions on your own. Work at it. It’s worth it. Over the course of your lives bosses, co-workers, clients, teachers, media, politicians, corporations, governments, police and other bureaucrats will all be feeding you self-interested, agenda-laden and (even) occasionally useful information. Your ability to cut through the crap will be your only hope to avoid being a credentialed idiot (i.e. someone with a college degree who can’t think critically). This doesn’t happen without some effort on your part.

So, for the last time (I hope), your final grades will be posted on ISIS. I will be taking the total number of points you earned this semester (you can find this total on Blackboard in the column labeled: “Total”) and dividing that number by 1000. Period. Full-stop. Your grade WILL NOT be calculated using any other number than 1000 (one-thousand).

I do understand that the Blackboard App reports various other numbers. This is due to glitches in the system. If I could fix it, I would. One thing is that I offer more than 1000 points over the course of the semester in order to give you all more chances to score points and earn the grade you want. I do this because I know public speaking is new and difficult for many of you. It’s a skill that takes more than 16 weeks to develop. The people who programmed Blackboard didn’t foresee this as an option a teacher might choose so, consequently, it isn’t accurate when it comes to calculating final grades. Another glitch revolves around the online quizzes. If you didn’t do them, Blackboard doesn’t count them as part of the total points possible unless I manually go into Blackboard and input a zero for each missed quiz, and even then the total number isn’t right. In short, the grade reported by Blackboard is WRONG. But this isn’t a problem because you have the information to know that Blackboard is wrong. You’ve had it all along. It’s up to you to use it. The skill I hope you all develop over the course of your college careers and lives is to use what you know to critically assess new information, identify it as credible or as BS, and take the appropriate action.

You can consider this as Jay’s last lecture…but I’d prefer you think of it as advice from a friend…In either case, I hope it serves as a good reminder of what college is all about as you all head into summer.

Be well…

Jay

Just like last week, the biggest story of the week happened on Monday. Each time I needed to either write a separate story, in order to try to be timely, or wait until I wrote and posted my normal column. On both occasions, my usual schedule has not allowed for the early post, so I have had to settle for a story well after the event. Like with the attack on the Boston Marathon, though, the story was big enough to still stand up a week later. This week, it was the revelation by NBA player Jason Collins that he is gay. He is the first active player in one of the major team sports to come out of the closet, so this is clearly a big deal.

The issue of gay players in sports has been a topic of discussion for a long time. There have been retired players who have come out as gay, but never before has there been an active player. How that player would be treated by his teammates and the fans has been the big question. In the past year or so, it has seemed more and more likely that this would happen, as things like same-sex marriage have not only been major topics of conversation, but also as the public seems to have moved in the direction of greater acceptance and tolerance for homosexuality. Based on the percentage of homosexuals in the general public, it seems certain that there are a decent number of gay players in the NFL, NBA, NHL, and Major League Baseball. I don’t think there will be a sudden flood of announcements, but I feel certain that the next will be very soon. There is safety in numbers, of course, and nothing will make this seem commonplace sooner than getting past this initial shock. That will happen as additional people realize that they no longer have to hide who they are simply because they play sports.

Jason Collins’ words were brave. It is hard to be a trailblazer, especially when there is so much emotion and hatred in opposition. Collins is actually a free agent right now, so it will be interesting to see how the offseason treats him. He is an older player, but still serviceable, so he likely would have been signed anyway. The cynical among us might say that he made it even more likely that he would get a contract, as the league would hate to see him go unsigned and have people say that it was because he was gay. There may be something to that, although I think he wouldn’t have actually needed that extra incentive. Still, that in no way diminishes the guts it took for him to go public with this information. As you might expect, it didn’t take long for the idiots to come out and speak negatively about Collins’ revelation. My Twitter feed was full of positive comments, but a number of athletes managed to show their bigoted sides, starting with ESPN announcer and former NBA player Chris Broussard, who spouted off the usual tripe, hiding behind some selective religious ideas to express his disapproval.

A person’s sexual preference should not matter in the world of sports. I have heard people asking why this sort of announcement is even necessary, saying that people like Collins should keep their information to themselves. At some point, that will be possible. A player really should not have to tell the world about who he wants to date. It will take a bit of doing to get to that point, though. I am confident we are on the correct path to get there.

Good sports, continued:

2) Like him or don’t (I’m in the “don’t” camp, admittedly), you have to respect Lebron James as a basketball player. On Sunday, he won his fourth league MVP award, becoming only the fifth player ever to win the award at least four times, joining Michael Jordan, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Wilt Chamberlain, and Bill Russell. Pretty good company.

Bad sports:

1) Justin Blackmon, a wide receiver for the Jacksonville Jaguars, will be suspended for the first four games of the coming NFL season after failing a drug test. This followed two DUI arrests in the last three years.

2) Boston Red Sox pitcher Clay Buccholz is off to a torrid start this season, having compiled a 6-0 record with a 1.01 ERA over the season’s first month. This week, two announcers for the Toronto Blue Jays accused Buccholz of doctoring the ball with some kind of wet substance, an act known as throwing a “spitball.” The pitcher and the Red Sox organization are vehemently denying it.

3) In a bizarre story, Kobe Bryant is suing his mother to try to keep her from selling a bunch of memorabilia from his early playing days. This ought to end well.

4) After plummeting to the second round of the NFL draft, Geno Smith, who at one point was thought of as a possible first overall pick, fired his agents this week. Since that happened, each side has spoken out publicly against the other. Smith was taken by the New York Jets, so this current circus will fit right in to that whole drama.

5) LeRoy Butler, the retired former Green Bay Packers safety, was scheduled to speak at a church in Wisconsin. After the Jason Collins announcement, Butler sent out a Tweet congratulating him for his courage. In response, the church canceled Butler’s appearance. There’s intolerance, and then there’s intolerance, I guess.

6) An assistant soccer coach for a prep school in Delaware was arrested on Tuesday for possession of child pornography.

7) Is there any other sport in which a television viewer can affect the outcome other than golf? After the recent incident at The Masters which cost Tiger Woods two strokes and nearly got him disqualified when a viewer called in to report an illegal drop, it happened again this weekend at the Wells Fargo Championship in North Carolina. A caller reported that Sergio Garcia may have marked his ball improperly. I am all for rule enforcement and getting things right, but if the on-course officials and people involved with the event don’t see or deal with an infraction, that should be the end of it. Some idiot on his couch should not be impacting a professional sporting event. Officials ruled there was no rule broken, in this case.

8) A referee for a youth soccer league in Utah died after spending a week in a coma caused by a punch in the face delivered by a 17-year-old goalie after he gave a yellow card to the player for rough play.

Bad sports, good sports appears every Monday