Consider how Christians might respond to a call for a blanket divestment from Christianity, inspired by a variety of things that have taken place in the past, or are taking place right now … things that had (or have) nothing whatsoever to do with Jesus Christ and the kingdom He proclaimed, yet were done (or are being done) in His name, and in pursuit of a very worldly and wrongful pursuit of His kingdom.
How might Christians respond to such a call?
10. You notice a bunch of sixes on your scalp
9. You suddenly start speaking unintelligibly, and you don’t work for Fox News
8. Your blood type came back as “Fire and Brimstone”
7. Every time you walk into a room, Mike Oldfield’s Tubular Bells starts playing
6. You’re producing more pea soup than Campbells
5. You’re Chris Christie (Sorry, that’s a sign you need exercise)
4. You recoil and hiss every time you see a hot cross bun
3. You’re one of the Koch Brothers
2. Your head has been spinning around so much, you’ve worn out twelve collars
1. No matter how you prepare your eggs, they always come out deviled
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
A big day at 1st Presbyterian Church of Midland, Texas a couple weeks back … THE day, really … not just for Christians, but for all people … Easter Day, Resurrection Sunday, Empty Tomb Day, whatever.
It was also a day of added significance for me, in a small personal way … it’s the one time I have the courage to go up front and sing in public. As I have noted before, little remains of the fine tenor voice I carried into high school. If maturity had replaced it with an equally fine baritone, I wouldn’t have minded so much … but, alas, such was not the case. I still sing in public, but only that one time each year, and in the particular circumstances we have at 1st Prez that day … when I am surrounded by a large choir, accompanied by chamber orchestra and organ, and singing for a packed house of people feeling more than the usual level of Christian charity and forgiveness.
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Big day, tomorrow … and not just for all Christians, but for all peoples … that’s what I believe.
“We are the Easter people,” Pastor Jim Miles of First Prez-Fort Stockton would remind us, and not just in the days leading up to Easter, but throughout the year. And that is what we affirm tomorrow, the day for which we have been preparing over the past six weeks, the day for which we live – or at least try to live – at all times.
A promise was made on a joyful, star-lit night, in a stable in Bethlehem … but that promise was kept on a bloody, storm-darkened day, on a hill outside of Jerusalem … and later in a place of tombs in the early morning.
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As I noted before, during the first two months of the year, part of my Saturdays are spent in gymnasiums … one in my church, and another in the public high school across the street. The Upward Basketball and Cheerleading season is well underway here, in Midland, Texas. Volunteers are helping the program in a lot of different ways … as coaches, referees, time/scorekeepers, and delivering devotionals to the fans during halftime breaks … I’m one of the volunteers doing the devotionals, and here was my presentation for this past Saturday, inspired by what I observed of the youngsters on the court …
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As I noted before, it’s the start of a new year, and that means part of my Saturdays are spent in gymnasiums … one in my church, and another in the public high school across the street. The Upward Basketball and Cheerleading season is well underway here, in Midland, Texas. Volunteers are helping the program in a lot of different ways … as coaches, referees, time/scorekeepers, and delivering devotionals to the fans during halftime breaks … I’m one of the volunteers doing the devotionals, and here was my presentation for today, inspired by the story of a an alumnus of the college where I work …
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As I noted last week, it’s January, and that means part of my Saturdays are spent in gymnasiums … one in my church, and another in the public high school across the street. Upward Basketball and Cheerleading season is underway here, in Midland, Texas. Volunteers are helping the program in a lot of different ways … as coaches, referees, time/scorekeepers, and delivering devotionals to the fans during halftime breaks … I’m one of the volunteers doing the devotionals, and here was my presentation for today, inspired by the fact that bad news here, in my part of western Texas – a motor vehicle accident that claimed ten lives, and effects of the continuing decline in oil prices – made it into national headlines this past week …
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It’s January, and that means part of my Saturdays are spent in gymnasiums … one in my church, and another in the public high school across the street. It’s the start of the Upward Basketball & Cheerleading season here, in Midland, Texas. Volunteers are helping the program in a lot of different ways … as coaches, referees, time/scorekeeprs, and delivering devotionals to the fans during halftime breaks … I’m one of the volunteers doing the devotionals, and here was my presentation for today …
Good afternoon, everyone … and happy new year to all of you! Let me have a show of hands here … how many of you made New Year ‘s Resolutions for 2015? … okay … now, how many of you are still keeping those resolutions?
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10. “Who’s going to cut the wedding loaves and fishes?”
9. “At least we can tell our kids their Grandpa attended our wedding; He’s everywhere!”
8. “It drives me nuts, all the kids here who can’t take their eyes off their stone tablets.”
7. “No, when you pronounce my first name that way, it makes me sound like a Mexican!”
6. “Today, I’m walking on champagne!”
5. “First we raise the dead, then we raise the roof!”
4. “Whose bright idea was it for us to get married on December 25th? – Now people will be combining my birthday, Christmas, and my anniversary gifts all in one!”
3. “It would be a miracle if we could keep this a secret for the next 2,000 years.”
2. “Honey, when I look in your eyes, it’s Heaven!”
1. “Sweetheart, you do realize that if we do get buried together, I gotta go!”
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
8 And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.
9 And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.
10 And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.
11 For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.
12 And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.
13 And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,
14 Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.
Luke 2
King James Version (KJV)
However you mark this day, a very Merry Christmas!
May this find you and yours happy and healthy, this holiday season and in the new year to come!
When you’ve seen as many movies as I have, you begin to see that they all follow a certain pattern. This is true not just of movies, but of all great stories ranging from those found in classic mythology and literature to modern TV series and video games. Joseph Campbell called it the monomyth or hero’s journey. It’s basically a series of steps that the protagonist must go through during the course of his or her adventure. In addition to this, there are also a number of spiritual principles that often find their way into storytelling. By combining these principles with the monomyth, you can pretty much figure out where just about any story is headed. While this skill has proven to be incredibly annoying to my wife, it’s come in very handy for me. Not because I’ve continually annoyed her with my usually correct movie and TV show predictions, but because I’ve noticed that these storytelling rules apply to more than just fictitious stories. They also apply to real life. [Read more →]
Ah, the enlightened life! A life where the superficial trappings of the material world have lost their luster. Where greasy, fried, and fatty foods are no longer tempting. Where meditation, sharing, and an appreciation of the beauty of nature provide all the fulfillment one needs for true happiness. And yet, considering how healthy, content, and self-fulfilled spiritual people claim to be, why are they plagued with so many health, wealth, and happiness issues? Is poverty a requirement of enlightenment? Is self-indulgence selfish? Is self-love a sign of an inflated ego? The irony is that most spiritual people are just as egotistical as materialistic people—perhaps even more so since they believe themselves to be so far above everyone else. Sacrifice and ascetic behavior do not make one spiritual. Denying the material for the sake of the spirit misses the big picture. To be truly fulfilled, one needs to embrace both of these worlds, creating more than a holy life, but a wholly life. [Read more →]
10. Instead of blessing everyone from his balcony, he’s doing his monologue from ground level, like Leno.
9. He’s inviting Benedict XVI over for an afternoon showing of Philomena.
8. He’s holding an Easter Egg Roll – not that kind – he’s just calling his local Chinese to order 3,000 egg rolls!
7. He’s starting his own Easter papal ‘white smoke’ tradition (wink wink), followed by a Council of the Cardinals discussion of how current Theological thinking fits in with today’s debate between String Theory and Loop Quantum Gravity.
6. He’s counselling some of his most confused priests that, during Easter, it’s perfectly okay to have an inordinate fondness for pastels.
5. He’s going to walk out with one of those really big papal hats, then fake everybody out and show it’s really a giant Easter egg standing on end!
4. He’s inviting all the archbishops over for a late-night showing of Nuns Gone Wild! (“Ankle slip!!”).
3. He will formally forgive the Easter Bunny and the Easter Chicken for whatever inglorious act they needed to commit in order to produce such lovely multicolored eggs!
2. He’s overseeing the instillation of the Vatican’s first drive-through confessional.
1. Just chillin’ with the wife and kids.
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
10. Tom, Dick, and Harry are in a VW when they have a head-on collision with a Mack truck.
9. Suddenly, they find themselves walking across these white billowy clouds towards there pearly gates.
8. As they start running towards the gates, St. Peter swoops in and says, “Wait a second, you can’t just come buzzing in here like you own the place!…”
7. “…You have to prove you learned something on Earth, and we have it boiled down to one question: What is Easter?”
6. Tom thinks about it for a while, then says, “My aunt and uncle come over, and we have turkey and cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie,….Pilgrims!”
5. Saint Peter pushes a button and Tom disappears down this fiery chute.
4. Dick’s sweating now because he’s next and there’s that fire there, and he thinks for a second, then sings, “Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells!” – Saint Peter pushes the button and he’s gone.
3. Harry, also sweating, says hopefully, “Well, it has something to do with Christ’s death.”
2. St. Peter considers this, smiles, and says, “Well, so does Good Friday; let’s be a little bit more specific.”
1. And Harry says, “There’s this massive rock, Jesus rises from the dead, He rolls back the rock, steps outside,…[pause]…and if He sees His shadow…”
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
10. People who say, “No offence, but…” and then keep on talking.
9. Telemarketers/robocallers.
8. People who prove every day that there really is such a thing as a dumb question.
7. Any dentist who tries to carry on a conversation while your mouth is chockfull of Novocain and metal torture instruments.
6. Most of the One Percent (the gang under the Koch Brothers will have their own wing!).
5. That guy in the car in front of me who’s texting so he doesn’t notice the light has turned green, and I can’t honk because it’s the city and this guy could be packin’, and when he finally realizes that the light’s green, there’s just enough time for one car to make it though: his.
4. People who say “Spoiler Alert”, then spoil the movie or show or game or whatever-it-is before you have a chance to stop them.
3. People who remember all of an endless involved joke…except the punchline.
2. Women who wear so much perfume/cologne, if they stand too long in one place, they leave a puddle.
1. Fred Phelps – the recently-deceased head of the Westboro Baptist Church who was always conducting those anti-gay protests at military funerals, as if one had anything to do with the other, not to mention the mental anguish they caused – Oh, wait…He’s already there.
That today was “Four Chaplains Day” in the United States?
No? Well, you’re not alone. The 71st anniversary of that fateful night when four U.S. Army chaplains gave their lives that others might live, caused barely a ripple today. It has come and gone quietly, and largely unmarked … including by yours truly.
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Earlier this week, in the course of an evening prayer gathering with @dreampcusa on Twitter, one of our partners offered up a prayer for the priests in Kiev. We joined in with that request, of course … but part of me was wondering, “what’s that about?” Once our gathering closed, I went and Googled “priests Kiev,” then clicked on the ‘News’ option for search results … and I found out exactly what he was talking about, and praying for.
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For years leading up to 2012, spiritual-types who were sick of the way the world was heading could take comfort in the promise of a new era that was predicted to begin on December 21 of that year. The Mayans, known for their astronomical expertise had supposedly predicted it. In addition, St. Malachy’s famous Prophesy of the Popes, which predicts when the world as we know it would end, also correlates to about the same time period. The Hopi tribe, Edgar Cayce, a book attributed to Nostradamus, hell, even The History Channel’s countless specials all pointed towards 12/21/12 as the beginning of the end times. The details differed, but whether you believed that Earth was due for a major cataclysm, a spiritual awakening, a religious reckoning and rapture, an alien visitation, a new dimension, or just an enlightened age, most people seemed somewhat excited that a major event was on the horizon. When the day finally arrived, we instead got something that came as a shock to many: absolutely nothing. Or so it would seem. [Read more →]
When I think of the time and space that might have been devoted over the last couple days upon people like U.S. Senator Ted Cruz or pop star Miley Cyrus, I find myself encouraged – not just in our world, but in the media that brings that world into our homes 24/7 – by the fact that we are, instead, focused upon Jorge Mario Bergoglio … a man who, as Pope Francis, “took the name of a humble saint and then called for a church of healing. The first non-European pope in 1,200 years, he is poised to transform a place that measures change by the century.”
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