10. The only ‘action’ you got all summer was inadvertent, and on a crowded moving subway car
9. All your dreams of an early retirement only served to prove you can’t always trust a Nigerian prince
8. You’re the Commissioner of the National Football League
7. You got confused, and thought it was now perfectly legal to smoke recreational marijuana in Washington, the city
6. That giant mouse you saw wasn’t at Disneyland
5. The Mid-East hotel you stayed in had a lower Michelin rating than Abu Ghraib
4. You got in trouble because you were lying naked on your hotel bed when the maid walked in…finally!
3. Your sunburn was so red, cars stopped at you and waited for you to change
2. Your Carnival Cruise cruise made the news
1. At the company picnic, you really ticked off the boss by drinking too much beer and then peeing in the swimming pool — from the diving board
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.