I get a kick out of what I call everyday irony—small contradictions, often so small they pass without notice—that make me laugh. For example, the other day a friend of mine pointed out the everyday irony of those radio ads that ask for donations of old cars to benefit the blind. Undoubtedly a worthy charity, but it still brings to mind Mister Magoo. [Read more →]
The English is Coming is Leslie Dunton-Downer’s delightful book about how English has become a global — the global — language. The book includes, as the cover tells us, “the remarkable story of 30 words,” and for me this was the delightful part of the book. The great fun of The English is Coming is learning how “hello” came to be the universal greeting when answering a phone and how “shampoo” came from Hindi and was transformed by English, and so on in amusing and informative sections. If you like language, you’ll find lots to entertain you in The English is Coming.
Here is my FTC-inspired disclaimer notifying you that this book was provided to me free of charge, as review copies usually are.
Here are some things that are not art forms: pitching, cooking, teaching, engineering, fishing, farming, parenting, managing, coaching, conversation, seduction, karate, carpentry, nursing, disk-jockeying, editing, belching, annoying people, grooming dogs, bar-tending, Scrabble, boxing, cobbling and surgery. Have I offended anyone? If so, why? [Read more →]
All of my life I’ve been told rule after rule by every snooty english teacher that the public school system, and all educational institutions beyond that could throw at me. Periods this, commas that, apostrophe my butt. We get it guys, writing is boring. [Read more →]
Although it may seem otherwise, people care a lot about language. Everyday people who mash words together without a second thought will get all defensive and downright purist when the discussion turns to proper use of English, especially if there’s some perceived threat. And a big threat to language has been looming: digital technology. [Read more →]
I harbor a distinct antipathy toward what a friend of mine used to call “the bumper-sticker mentality,” which disdains thinking and settles instead for sloganeering.
You’ve probably seen this one: “Arms are for hugging.” This isn’t wit. It’s plain old-fashioned equivocation — taking a word that has multiple meanings and pretending it only has one. Whoever came up with this should run out right now and hug a howitzer. [Read more →]
We’ve moved on, right? We’re not still lying in bed at night trying to figure out ways to get in with the cool kids, right? Peer pressure is just an unpleasant memory from the past. Now, we can teach our kids to avoid the riptides under popular currents and to do their own thing. Right? If this is all true, then can someone please tell me what a “guilty pleasure” is? [Read more →]
I watched the below video without the sound on after reading about the scuffle at the U.S. Open. I had the sound off because I didn’t feel like reaching to turn on my computer speakers, not because I was afraid to hear some cursing, if it can be heard. Even with the sound off you can see this punk saying “fuck” dozens of times. His body language and facial expressions say “punk” more clearly than any words could. I’ve been known to use bad words on occasion and realize that we can’t shelter ourselves, or our children forever, but you should be able to walk down the street or take your kids to a tennis match without hearing a stream of “fuck” coming out of the dickwads next to you. People who can’t control their mouths in public should be told to shut the fuck up.
Our metaphorist-in-chief, Barack Obama, has apparently been getting a lot of “mileage” out of his latest metaphor, in which he likens the state of the economy to an automobile.
The first time President Barack Obama used the metaphor at a Democratic fundraiser in April, he spent exactly four sentences on it: “And yet, after driving our economy into the ditch, they decided to stand on the side of the road and watch us while we pulled it out of the ditch,” Obama said at the Los Angeles event for Sen. Barbara Boxer of California. “They asked, ‘Why haven’t you pulled it out fast enough?’ ‘I noticed there’s, like, a little scratch there in the fender. Why didn’t you do something about that?’”
That is a great metaphor. You can see why he makes the big bucks. Enough that his wife can afford to go on great trips to Spain (do you think she ate any paella while she was there? I love paella). It’s easily equal to his other great metaphor, the one about the medical care bill being like planting seeds in a garden, only we don’t know what kind of seeds we planted, so we need to wait and see what comes up.
Actually, it’s a better metaphor, since it reminds people of “Cash for Clunkers,” arguably the president’s greatest accomplishment. [Read more →]
Sometimes, I wonder what it takes to make the move to the big city, and earn the big bucks as a marketing VP for a major corporation. Do I have what it takes?
Maybe not.
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