Entries Tagged as 'Mr. Sean goes to Washington'

Mr. Sean goes to Washingtonpolitics & government

The U.S. President most like Trump is…

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Hillary Clinton is the first woman to get a presidential nomination from a major party and stands poised to become our first female leader—she would enter the White House with a spouse who’s occupied it as well. She has been in the national spotlight since 1992, a remarkably long time for any political leader—if elected and reelected, when she finally left office she would have been in the public eye for an incredible 32 years.

Yet somehow, she is not the outlier this election.

Even if you’re a Trump supporter – especially if you’re a Trump supporter – you’d agree no one quite like him has ever made it this far. I’m a bit of a history geek and I’m fairly confident these feats of his are all historical firsts for a nominee.
-Spent much of his life pretending to be Swedish.
-During a party presidential debate, defended his penis.
-Urged supporters to check out someone’s sex tape – Trump later denied doing this but the exact words he tweeted were “check out sex tape” – which, sadly for sex tape fans, did not exist.

[Read more →]

ends & oddMr. Sean goes to Washington

Chris Christie: why only the unemployed should run for president

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New Jersey is a state that once had a governor reveal during a single press conference:

  1. He was resigning.
  2. Because of an affair.
  3. With a man.

For most states, this would be plenty to process, but our suddenly former governor didn’t even mention that the man was about to start suing him for sexual harassment and that their falling out stemmed from that man, an Israeli poet, losing his job as the state’s homeland security adviser, a $110,000 a year position for which he had virtually no qualifications beyond the aforementioned affair with the governor.

That was the administration of Jim McGreevey.

Former presidential candidate Chris Christie wishes he could rise to this level of professionalism. Disastrous as McGreevey was as New Jersey’s governor, he still has one big edge over Christie: he occasionally spent time in New Jersey. [Read more →]

Mr. Sean goes to Washington

Mr. Sean goes to Washington: what makes Barack and Mitt run? (particularly Mitt)

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Barack Obama and Mitt Romney are, by any standard, exceptional people. They’re extremely well-educated (both have a pair of Ivy League degrees). They’re quite wealthy (Mitt more so). They each got their first marriage right and have produced multiple aesthetically-pleasing children (Mitt’s on top here as well, barring Barack surging into the lead when Michelle unexpectedly announces quadruplets). They’re above average in height and apparently in good shape: while Mitt has been reluctant to release his tax returns, he has enthusiastically shared his Body Mass Index and it’s quite impressive; I expect Barack’s is similarly exceptional. Yet watching these two magnificent men, who if they ever did wind up single would surely prove incredibly popular on Match.com, I can’t help but think, They should be doing something else, particularly you, Mitt. [Read more →]

Mr. Sean goes to Washingtonpolitics & government

Why they run: possible reasons someone enters a presidential race

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Mitt Romney has a good life. He has his health, a devoted wife, tons of money, exceptionally thick hair, seemingly dozens of sons who look exactly like him, and so on. Yet he’s decided this isn’t enough and is running for president, with the result he now spends his days forced to make conversation with people he normally wouldn’t let valet park one of his many luxury automobiles. And watching him makes me wonder, “Why would anyone enter a presidential campaign?” After some contemplation, these are the possible reasons: [Read more →]

Mr. Sean goes to Washington

Patriotism doesn’t pay

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Courage can be expressed in different ways. Some demonstrate courage by, on the day terrorists struck their greatest blow against America, finding it in themselves to resist the very human instinct to flee somewhere far away and safe, but instead stay nearby and try to help their fellow man, and then continue to stick around in subsequent days and weeks and months and years as it becomes clear that while Al Qaeda won’t be attacking again any time soon their attack has left behind a toxic legacy. Others demonstrate courage by denying these people health benefits. The Republican Party is in the latter camp. [Read more →]

Mr. Sean goes to Washington

Brock Lesnar is America

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When Brock Lesnar became the UFC heavyweight champ — for non-fans, that’s where the fighters get to keep the fight going when one guy hits the ground — he seemingly had the potential to be unbeatable. Crushing opponents, he dominated press coverage for the sport and set himself up a private training complex near his Minnesota home, based on the theory people could go to him instead of him going to them. Recently he took on a challenger named Cain Velasquez and was beaten like a gong. Now it’s possible Lesnar is quitting mixed martial arts and returning to pro wrestling and its bigger paydays. The weirdest thing about this? He’s only had seven fights. [Read more →]

Mr. Sean goes to Washington

Suicide Girls as metaphor for the Tea Party

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I recently had a family member pass and that night, when I was on edge but exhausted, I started flipping channels. I soon realized I couldn’t concentrate at all (even usual insomnia standby Sportscenter seemed confusing), so I was grateful to stumble upon a channel with naked women, as this was a concept my mind could wrap itself around. As it happened, it was a program called The Suicide Girls: Guide to Living. Having seen it, the world makes a bit more sense. [Read more →]

Mr. Sean goes to Washington

Meet the new boss (still depressingly similar to the old boss)

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I recently saw the documentary Inside Job and it taught me a valuable lesson: films dealing with Wall Street should not include Bachman-Turner Overdrive’s song “Taking Care of Business.” It’s not clever and ironic; it’s lazy and annoying. Activist filmmakers everywhere: you can do better. The film also offers some non-musical insights:

1. The compensation a CEO receives is determined by a corporation’s board of directors. CEOs usually exert significant control over who sits on a board of directors, meaning in some cases a CEO essentially hires the people who determine how much he’s paid. The result? Stanley O’Neal “leading” Merril Lynch to a $2.3 billion quarterly loss (plus $8.4 million in fines from the government), then leaving with $161 million for his troubles. [Read more →]

Mr. Sean goes to Washington

Meet the new boss (depressingly similar to the old boss)

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This article will be depressing. It takes a bunch of grim facts you probably already knew and connects them. Also, it’s long, excessively so (which is why I divided it into two pieces). It’s just a miserable, miserable experience. That said, there’s good news at the end. Not the end of this half — which concludes in a manner both bleak and abrupt — but of the part that appears next week. If you stick it out, you will be rewarded. Is the reward worth all the stick leading up to the carrot? Probably not. Let’s dive in, gang! [Read more →]

Mr. Sean goes to Washington

Carl Paladino: crazy like a fox (who’s clinically insane and digs racist bestiality porn)

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Fox Butterfield’s All God’s Children: The Bosket Family and The American Tradition of Violence includes a section when Willie Bosket, who became a murderer at 15, decides to serve as his own attorney. Willie has not been to law school or received much of any kind of formal education and his approach is, to put it mildly, eccentric, such as when he insists on asking a witness endless variations of the question, “As a homosexual, should you really be testifying?” (There was nothing to suggest the witness was a homosexual, nor would it have had any impact on his testimony were he one.) Yet there is a method to the madness: soon the judge and prosecutor give Willie greater leeway than they would a regular attorney. And Willie, in turn, uses this to catch witnesses off-guard, to the point he’s soon representing himself far more effectively than “competent” counsel would. This approach to life seems to have been adopted by Carl Paladino.

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Mr. Sean goes to Washington

Meet Murkowski: One ballsy ballot buster

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When Lisa Murkowski lost the GOP primary, it seemed her time in the U.S. Senate was over. The Republicans didn’t want her (and the party leadership were enraged that she might want to run regardless), the Democrats already had a candidate (and even when they learned Lisa had an unexpectedly open dance card, chose to stick with their guy), and if she made a go of it as an independent, voters would be required to write her name on the ballot. And thus she faces a uniquely harsh task for a candidate: not only must she battle the two majors parties to convince Alaskans to go to the polls to support her, but she must teach the general population how to spell “Murkowski.” [Read more →]