10. I have a mental disorder where I have to make everything sound mysterious….Or do I?
9. Do you suspect you have schizophrenia? Don’t worry, you’re not alone.
8. I phoned the paranoia help line, but I had to hang up after 59 seconds because I’m sure they were trying to trace the call.
7. Schizophrenia – Together I can beat it!
6. Kleptomaniacs always take things literally.
5. I think I speak for everyone when I say I have multiple personality disorder.
4. We’ll be attending the National Schizophrenia Convention. Anybody who’s everybody will be there.
3. Nowadays, anger management courses are all the rage.
2. I used to have super powers, but my psychiatrist took them all away.
1. I try to stay in touch with reality but, lately, it hasn’t been returning my calls.
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.