10. “All of this year’s required textbooks are by L. Ron Hubbard”

9. “We’re working with a local prison this year on a new program called ‘Scared Smart’”

8. “So, over the summer, did that thumb-sucking problem ever clear up?”

7. “Good news! Instead of dissecting a frog in Biology this year, we were lucky enough to procure the remains of the recently deceased James Arness!”

6. “Those with head lice, please line up on this side of the gymnasium”

5. “I is your new English teacher”

4. “Today’s lecture on Evolution will be delivered by guest speaker Michele Bachmann”

3. “I’m your gym teacher, and I say that’s what wrestlers wore during the original Olympics: nothing!”

2. “Today, for a change of pace, we’ll be pledging allegiance to the Powers of Darkness”

1. “Your grades will be determined by how well you rub my feet”
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

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Have any of my currently unknown artistic brethren and sistren out there noticed what nifty little curiosities we seem, to our  acquaintances? I mean, if we won big fat awards or sold something for hard cash, we would be seriously interesting — legitimate, even. But until then, we are breathing diversions; we are, at best, refreshing company, because if we are, indeed, forced to cut the grass to make ends meet, we still refuse to stray far from playing in the backyard sandbox.  And, oh, the little castles we can make! Such delights! Such fun! [Read more →]

Tags: artistic unknowns by Chris Matarazzo, education by Chris Matarazzo
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10. Fart History

9. Print Journalism

8. Forensic Reflexology

7. Fax Machine Repair

6. Congressional Ethics

5. Ufology

4. Competitive Dwarf Tossing

3. Farrah Fawcett-Majors

2. American Economics

1. Grifting
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

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What is it like being a kid in the standardized testing labyrinth of American education? I wonder if those of us who aren’t kids ask that question enough. I also wonder if kids themselves understand their own feelings about being tested, understand that it isn’t an inevitable aspect of being educated. [Read more →]

Tags: education, virtual children by Scott Warnock by Scott Warnock
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10. The “Registrar’s Office” is actually the back of a ’56 Buick

9. The school motto is “Truth, Justice, Tuition Hikes”

8. The school cafeteria is just a candy vending machine

7. You first heard about the college on the back of a pack of matches

6. The college asks that you pay your tuition up front, in cash, no large bills

5. The History professor teaches how the ‘Good Guys’ lost the Civil War

4. George W. is on the cover of the yearbook

3. All the professors are on some sort of work release program

2. There are no Asians anywhere

1. The school library has only three books, and two of them involve finding Waldo
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

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I have been a volunteer New Jersey school board member since 2004. This year, I was informed that a new law requires all New Jersey board of ed members to undergo background checks. Then I learned that included fingerprinting. Then I learned the process would cost $81. [Read more →]

Tags: education, virtual children by Scott Warnock by Scott Warnock
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While people are scrambling and plotting about how to pay for their children’s education, PayPal cofounder Peter Thiel has offered up a different idea: He is offering 24 people $100,000 not to go to college.

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Tags: education, virtual children by Scott Warnock by Scott Warnock
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I work at a very fine institution of higher education in the Philadelphia area. I cannot stress how much I love working in the college atmosphere, so much so that I am pursuing my Master’s In Higher Education so I can support and advance my career in the college world. I feel like every day is exciting, and its always invigorating to walk onto a college campus. I think it even keeps me young, although I still haven’t learned how to properly “Dougie”, can’t figure out why kids like this rapper Drake, and (for humanity’s sake) I would never dare attempt to wear skinny jeans    [Read more →]

Tags: education, Marty digs by Marty O'Connor
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10. He delivers his speech without moving his lips, thanks to his little ventriloquist’s dummy ‘Muammar’

9. Her first name is Snooki

8. His speech is laced with crude double entendres and Polish jokes

7. He can’t emphasize enough the many incredible advantages of buying a ShamWow!

6. His claim to fame: He played Epstein on Welcome Back, Kotter

5. She goes on and on about how Barack Obama’s birth certificate has to be a forgery

4. Before he goes on, he asks the principal if he wants a little ‘nose candy’

3. He claims to have deciphered the “secret language of kitty cats”

2. He begins his speech, “If life hands you lemons, you should squeeze the juice directly into the wounds of your enemies.”

1. He spends an entire hour blathering on about his tiger’s blood, Adonis DNA, and fire-breathing fists

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

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The end of the world was supposed to happen on Saturday, it didn’t, but rapture jokes replaced Charlie Sheen jokes in the social media stratosphere. I am glad to know we weren’t all sucked into the ground from an earthquake, and happy that Jesus is waiting to make his second coming. I kindly pray that he at least hold off until I break the high score on the Ms. Pac-Man machine at my local pizza shop. However, my community got some very bad news about the end of a very special place in many hearts- St. Mary’s school in Gloucester City, New Jersey is going to be shutting its doors after this school year. [Read more →]

Tags: education, Marty digs by Marty O'Connor
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