I can’t imagine that there is a parent out there that hasn’t had the discussion about whether or not they believed in the link between autism and certain vaccines administered to children. I know I certainly have. I chose to vaccinate my daughter, as I never really found there to be hard evidence that linked the two. Well, apparently — there isn’t. Some douche of a doctor — Dr. Andrew Wakefield to be exact — decided to go ahead and falsify his findings. Of course he’s denying it, but the evidence against him seems overwhelmingly strong. What could possibly possess a human being to do such a thing? And how will the country now react to those who so strongly supported this doctor’s theory?

Hey, Jenny McCarthy — all eyes are on you.

Tags: going parental, health & medical by Jaclyn Roth
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I recently got an iPad for me and my girlfriend. Our laptop was on its way out and we have a new desktop that works perfectly. I didn’t want to get another laptop so I settled in the middle and got the iPad since all we really wanted was easy access to the Internet when we were lounging around. I’m not going to lie. This thing is awesome. They have apps for everything. I’m pretty sure there’s an app that will tie your shoes and do your laundry for you — for just $9.99! Anyway, all was going well with our new toy. We bought a fresh black case for it and a screen protector. We’re careful about where we put it — ya know, the way you are with your baby the first few weeks of its life. And then it happened. [Read more →]

Tags: going parental, technology by Jaclyn Roth
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That’s right! It happened. And I didn’t do it! James Jones boarded his daughter’s school bus in an attempt to put an end to the bullying his daughter suffered at the hands of some snot nose punks. Check out the video, it’s crazy. Now listen, we all know this isn’t appropriate behavior but let’s be honest — we’ve all wanted to do it. My daughter is only 4 and I’ve already experienced this feeling. This poor guy’s daughter is fifteen and has cerebral palsy. These little douche bag bullies put an open condom on her head, smacked her in the back of the head, twisted her ears and shouted rude comments at her, multiple times. All I’d be thinking is, “those kids are fucking dead!” But see that’s the difference. I’d be thinking it. James Jones went out and did something about it. Dude’s got brass ones. [Read more →]

Tags: going parental, on the law by Jaclyn Roth
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Today is my daughter’s first day of Pre-K. I can’t even really call it her first day because she goes for an hour and I have to stay with her. When the hell did this become my first day of school? This is horse shit. My kid’s been going to some sort of all day progam/nursery school since she was two. She doesn’t need me hanging around watching her introduce herself to the all the nanny-bred kids who have never spent a day away from home. It’s not my fault that she’s going to walk right in there stoked and good to go. She’s already annoyed that I’m not just dropping her off and picking her up in the afternoon. Even she thinks this is stupid [Read more →]

Tags: family & parenting, going parental by Jaclyn Roth
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By now, this article has been completely ripped apart, picked apart, debated, agreed with and utterly denounced. At this point I’ve read “All Joy And No Fun: Why Parents Hate Parenting,” and I have to say — what a total piece of shit.

I don’t know anything about the writer and to be honest I made no attempt at learning a thing about her because I wouldn’t waste my time.

Listen — you don’t want to have kids? More power to you. But those of you who go out there, get married and have kids — and then blame all of your problems on the fact that you had kids — are total assholes. You’re selfish, ego-maniacal douchebags. And deep down, I think you know it. [Read more →]

Tags: family & parenting, going parental, trusted media & news by Jaclyn Roth
5 Comments »

A lot of my friends have been complaining to me about their husbands lately. The stories all sort of blur together and it seems as though most of them (the husbands in question) do the same dumb shit. Now — we all know I don’t have a husband. And for those of you who didn’t know that bit of information – now you do. So you may wonder what qualifies me to even create such a top ten. It’s simple — for all intents and purposes, I am a wife and I have a wife — I’m the perfect person for the job. [Read more →]

Tags: advice, family & parenting, going parental by Jaclyn Roth
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A 27-year-old woman pregnant with her fifth child walks into a Catholic hospital on the verge of death. At 11 weeks into her pregnancy she is told that the baby must be aborted or they will both surely die. The hospital administrator, a nun, is forced to make a fast and life-changing decision. She allows the abortion to take place in order to save the mother’s life. When Bishop Thomas J. Olmsted caught wind of what had happened, he declared that she was instantly excommunicated, claiming “you can’t do evil, to bring about good.”

I’m having a hard time focusing on which part of this story bothers me the most. I’m not sure if it’s the fact that at 27, this woman is pregnant with her fifth child, or that the nun who OK’d the medical procedure to save the woman’s life was excommunicated from the church — instantly — while it is a known fact that not a single priest credibly accused of molesting children has ever been excommunicated. Her actions saved a woman’s life — a mother of four. While the accused Priests’ actions have destroyed thousands.

Tags: family & parenting, going parental, religion & philosophy by Jaclyn Roth
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This has potential to be a touchy subject. Anyone out there with a kid or a pet is guilty of over-texting photos of said children to friends and family. I do not purport to be innocent of this heinous and irritating crime. I do, however, try to capture moments that are funny or extraordinarily cute if it’s an image I plan to send. Here’s an example of what I consider text-worthy:

[Read more →]

Tags: family & parenting, going parental, technology by Jaclyn Roth
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Larry Greene, a NYC man, was arraigned this past Wednesday on a second-degree murder charge after fatally punching his 7-month-old son. SEVEN. MONTHS. OLD. “Toughen up!” That’s what he yelled as he struck this tiny, crying, helpless child. He could face 25 years to life in prison if convicted. If convicted? He admitted to doing it. And do you know why he said he did it? According to The Inquisitr he (allegedly) told investigators that “he was jealous because the infant was more attached to the mother than to him.” Raise your hand if you have deep-seeded mommy issues! Come on, Larry. Let’s see that hand you sick bastard. [Read more →]

Tags: family & parenting, going parental by Jaclyn Roth
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I have a few very close friends that are pregnant right now. They are all actually due very soon; one in a few weeks, one in a month and another at the end of the Summer. I’m totally envious of them — not like jealous envious — just excited and overwhelmed for them and what they’re about to experience. I loved being pregnant. I know it’s hard for some people to believe, but despite the fact that I’m a foul mouthed, relatively too-cool-to-be-emotional kind of girl, I was completely in awe of the fact that a baby was growing inside of my body. I was a full blown Gaylord when it came to my pregnancy. I even made myself sick. [Read more →]

Tags: family & parenting, going parental by Jaclyn Roth
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