Entries Tagged as 'black helicopter watch'

Top ten other claims by Sarah Palin’s aides, who claim those weren’t bull’s-eyes on her website map, but surveyor’s symbols

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10. When Sarah Palin said U.S. Rep. Gabrielle Giffords should be “targeted,” she meant targeted with a surveyor’s scope

9. Sarah Palin used the term “blood libel” in a completely non-Jewish Christian context, referring to people who claim that wine in church isn’t really the blood of Christ

8. When Byron Williams, who got into a gunfight with police trying to attack members of the Tides Foundation in San Francisco, said he had been influenced by Glenn Beck, he really meant the singer Beck (“Odelay”)

7. When Sarah Palin complained that the shooting in Arizona had been unfairly politicized, then suggested that the gunman was perhaps a “left-leaning criminal,” she meant one of his legs was shorter than the other

6. When the mother of Gregory Lee Giusti, who was convicted of threatening former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, blamed Fox News, she actually meant the news that Redd Foxx had died

4. Tea Partier Sharron Angle’s suggestion of “Second Amendment solutions” for an out-of-control Congress was a misquote; she actually referenced the Fifteenth and Nineteenth Amendments

3. Sarah Palin’s use of the phrase “don’t retreat, reload” was a reference to wash loads

2. When a relative of Charles Wilson, who was convicted of threatening Sen. Patty Murray, said he was “under the spell that Glenn Beck cast,” he really meant he’d been drinking Beck’s beer.

1. Whenever Sarah Palin uses the term ‘Democrats,’ she of course means ‘shitheads who should be taken out’
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Does the earthquake in Chile spell doom for Earth?

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Recently I have had nothing but grave news. Two weeks ago I was describing to friends how it was our hour of need as the Norskies defended the peak of the gold medal mountain in the new Cold War, in Vancouver. Then it was just last week that my clarion call was sounded regarding the now 7-year-war against wild animals (10/03/2003 — Never Forget). These two very serious issues were weighing on me heavily. And then I heard that the Earth’s day is now shorter.

The earthquake in Chile changed the axis and sped up the Earth?! What? I’m sorry, come again? Why hasn’t there been much gnashing of teeth and such? The fifth most feasible way to destroy the Earth is to overspin it until it tears itself apart! [Read more →]

Exaggeration nation: Chuck Norris

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Recently, President Obama signed an Executive Order immunizing the five-person Interpol office in New York City from a handful of federal laws.

Gadzooks!

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Holiday in dystopia: Christmas gift ideas for a world gone mad

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In my inaugural post here at WFTC, I openly begged for a “God Helmet” this Christmas. Today, I present some gift ideas for your holiday shopping list.

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The Final Battle against technology has begun

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Get your gears off my love handles you damned dirty machines!

Big Brother coming to a city near you?

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New York City’s Mayor Bloomberg was on TV recently, touting the expansion of the Lower Manhattan Security Initiative to include midtown Manhattan. Bloomberg is asking for $24 million in Homeland Security funds to complete this project.

Bloomberg cited London’s “Ring of Steel” that was erected in response to a series of IRA bombings in the early 90′s as an example of how it should be done. The closed circuit tv cameras, radiation detectors and license plate reading cameras are designed to monitor the citizens and protect them against both crime and terrorist attack.
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Don’t defriend — debunk!

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Dear Ruby,
An old friend friended me on Facebook recently and we emailed back and forth a few times. I was really excited to be back in touch until I realized that he believes in all kinds of crackpot 9/11 theories and now he is sending me links to videos and websites that I have no interest in. How do I get out of this relationship? I used to like him and agree with him on a lot of topics, but now I’m so turned off that I just cringe when I see new emails from him.

Sincerely, Defriend Me! [Read more →]

The end of dreams

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I am not a Luddite. I love my MacBook, my iPod, and my Blackberry Curve. I have my doubts about the effects on literature and music through digitization, the Kindle, downloading, etc., but I accept the premise that, on balance, such technological progress is a good thing. I also eagerly await the progress of medical science in the areas of Alzheimer’s and hip replacement, two things I worry about. Now, a recent article in The New Scientist reports on a recent conference on Neuroscience, and proclaims, “It will soon be possible to boost human brainpower with electronic ‘plug-ins’ or even by genetic enhancement.” [Read more →]

Panic! (A vision of the future)

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The week of Obama’s inauguration, White House Press Secretary Dana Perino announces a special press conference for the White House Press Corps. This will be George W. Bush’s final address as 43rd President of the United States. We go live to that conference already in progress:

“We got you good,” says Bush on-screen, smiling. He looks down to his notes.

“We’ve been making gasoline from water and old garbage since the 70′s and selling it to you. There is no shortage! National debt? Ha! We’ve paid it all off with gas money and have a surplus. We’re going to give fifty-thousand to everyone. What’s more, I recently talked with Hamas leader, Khaled Mashal, and Israeli Prime Minister, Ehud Olmert, and these two gentlemen have agreed to eternal peace. Along with Iranian President, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, they will head a task force to stop terrorism and educate the Middle-East on the dangers of Islamic extremism. Say hi, guys.”

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Reflecting on 2008 and why I haven’t been writing

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Nearly every morning last year I went into my office with a single intent — to write. Something. Anything. Nothing. Instead, other than the few posts made here, I have managed to play 386,427 games of spider solitaire. Sadly, I don’t win often, but I do have an impressive twelve-win run in easy mode, which is totally pathetic.

I am discouraged.

Rest assured that there is an abundance of gross incompetence, general stupidity, and blatant disregard for truth and justice in the world that I would gladly comment on. At this very moment there are dozens of diatribes dancing around in my head fighting to find a direct pipeline to my keyboard.

This is not a case of writer’s block. There are big, big, big things going on that piss me off and I, like thousands of others in the blogosphere, have opinions and judgments that I think are unique, brilliant, and deserving of being blasted throughout the universe because, well, um, I am right and you are wrong.

No, this is not writer’s block. My deserving diatribes on the big issues are not absent. My truth is out there. But unlike everyone else in the blogosphere, I am the victim of a cruel conspiracy. My rage has been stolen and broadcast as a ‘special comment’ by Keith Olbermann. [Read more →]

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