I know I have been M.I.F.A. I apologize… life happens… shit happens… and things in between happen. But it’s finale season and while this marks the end of good television and the beginning of crappy summer fillers, I live for these weeks in May. I recently acquired a completely legitimate prescription for Valium (Dude, I swear it’s kinda legit) and it came just in time for highly intense TV goodness. Let’s pop a pill and dive right in.

Brothers & Sisters – As one of my favorite shows, I was really looking forward to this one and it was talked about endlessly by Kristen so I was expecting the finale to be off its rocker. It so wasn’t. If you follow spoilers, it was no surprise what-so-ever that Robert’s life would be hanging in the balance. We finally did learn what Lake Narrow was all about. Expecting them to strike gold or oil, they found… drumroll please… water. A hidden lake if you will. Apparently that makes you rich. Good to know. If I had seen an aqua-geyser, rather than something darker in color or shinier, I would’ve stormed off in a fit of rage thinking my golden ticket to the chocolate factory was bogus. I suppose the biggest shock came when we learned Saul was HIV positive. I feel sad for Saul but I don’t think it was finale worthy. 1/2 Valium needed.

One Tree Hill — A OTH renewal has been questionable for the past few weeks. Will we get a season 8? Yes you heard me… we fans have been loyal and dedicated to our friends from Tree Hill for 7 freakin’ years. I’ve gotten married, moved across the country… twice… and have had 3 different jobs in this time period and I’m still talking about Brooke, Nathan, Haley, Mouth and Skills. And I will be talking about them for at least 13 more episodes because it’s been confirmed for a 1/2 season 8. I’ve recently met two infatuated fans, JAP and JTM, that love this awfully amazing show just as much as  i do so it makes it that much more awesome to watch. We had been warned that if OTH didn’t get it’s renewal, the fans would not be happy with the “series” finale, so I was waiting for all of these crazy, terrible things to go down, but all of it seemed just peachy. Then the last 30 seconds happened. Sarah, that crazy bitch, viciously blows away Quinn AND Clay, all with a smile. I didn’t see it coming at all. I screamed in shock and fear. 2 Valium needed.

24 — When did Jack Bauer turn into Batman? I mean I have never seen him this way before… out for blood, no regard for life. I compare my level of fright to that of President Logan when Jack attacked him in his Batsuit. 2.5 Valium were absolutely necessary.

90210 — For weeks I’ve been hearing/reading about this shocking season finale and how our eyes would pop out of our heads. After watching I had to check the CW website to make sure that what I had just seen was in fact the finale. There was not one thing shocking about it. I still loathe Mr. Matthews with all of my heart, we all know Annie killed Jasper’s uncle… it just took her exactly one year to tell someone, and are we to assume Naomi gets sexually assaulted by that teacher she screwed over earlier in the year? Don’t get me wrong, that is nothing to turn your cheek to, but really? The worst part was watching that creepy creep Jasper burn Liam’s boat. Poor Liam. I love that hot piece… he always gets the short end. The only thing left to ponder is who Mr. Matthews is going to kill in his drunken driving accident we know is going to happen?Complete disappointment, zero valium needed.

Lost — Jack? Really? Six years and approximately 132 hours later, Jack is THE candidate? I’m not buying it. We have come so damn far… that just can’t be how it all comes together. And I’m pretty much guaranteeing that is not our ending. One Valium as per the usual weekly minimum.

American Idol — After this week, no one deserves it more than Lee. 1 valium needed, 1/2 to control my Lee DeWyze emotions, 1/2 to control my heartache for little Justin Bieber and his hairdo.

Cougar Town — Can we all just take a moment and toast the first, hysterically funny season of CT? Fill your glass of wine to the tippy top, pop half a valium and cheers… to many more! And I highly suggest following @Busyphilipps25 on Twitter.

Private Practice — I’m sorry but that was just mean. One hour of pure torture. As far as we knew it, 2 peoples lives were at risk… Maya and her unborn child. They both survived, but Dell unexpectedly didn’t. Out of nowhere, a brain hemorrhage, just like that. I actually hated Dell, but I felt horrible as he said goodbye to his daughter, preparing for the worst. Poor Betsy. 2 Valium.

Grey’s Anatomy — “Due to violent content, viewer discretion is advised” was the opening warning. 1/2 Valium. Pixie girl gets shot, point blank in the head… followed by Alex. 1/2 Valium. Scene where Bailey pleads for her life by claiming she’s a nurse. 1/2 Valium. Dr. Shepherd gets shot while pregnant wife watches. 1/2 Valium. The gunman approaches and tries to shoot Lexi. 1/2 Valium. Owen finds out Derek was shot, heads into surgery to help only to find the gunman holding Christina, the surgeon, at gunpoint. 1/2 Valium. Owen gets shot, they fake Derek’s death. 1/2 Valium. I have no idea how the show ended… passed out a approximately 10:38PM. Just when we thought she couldn’t top last years shocker, Shonda went and did it again. 2 of the best hours of television… ever.

Tune of the Week

“Leave Your Boyfriends Behind” by Leona Naess, courtesy of the beach scene in Cougar Town.

What to Watch, End of Year

Friday

Friday Night Lights — Top 3 shows on television, and we basic cable viewers finally get it back. Suck it DirecTV. No pills, just be happy it’s here.

Monday

24 — The two-hour series finale. The trailer alone is making me shit in my pants. I salute an amazingly entertaining show and one of the best TV characters of all time, Jack Bauer. I highly recommend 2 Valium… before the show even begins.

Wednesday

American Idol — We’ve stuck it out for this long, you may as well tune in. While this was one of the worst seasons ever, the two best are left and they both deserve to win. One pill and a vodka/soda… for fun?

And the Superbowl of TV for the year… the decade… the series finale of Lost airing this Sunday. 4.5 hours long starting with a 2 hour recap followed by a 2.5 hour finale. I’m still deciding what I’m going to eat. There will definitely be chips, dip and snacks, but for the main course I’ve narrowed it down to a #2 from McDonalds, a meatball parm hero, or an italian combo. Suggestions are welcome. This love story (because that’s what it is) is coming to an end. It will come together… maybe not all of it, but most of it. Love will prevail and we’ll get our ending… and it better be epic. Don’t expect a recap… and I’m gonna need a prescription refill.

How To Make It In America (Sunday, HBO, 10PM) – Is it me or is TV reeeeally boring right now? You haven’t heard from me in a while, mostly because I’ve been busy, but also because TV is just very uninspiring right now. American Idol is lame, the CW is worse than ever, and ABC is a complete snooze. The only exciting show on television lately has been Lost (and that’s because we dedicated the last 5 years of our lives to watching it and all it’s done for us is make us feel incompetent and stupid… apparently, the last 7 episodes will make us think we’re smart again), until a show called How To Make It in America came along.

Marky Mark and HBO have done it again. Though it’s hard not to because of its roots, I refuse to compare HTMIA to Entourage (or worse… Entourage meets Sex and the City). Sure, there’s a small crew of guys who grew up together and yes, the backdrop is Manhattan, but they’re not rolling into private parties on sunset or sipping cosmos at the Gramercy Park Hotel. They’re childhood buddies, born and raised… on the LES (lower east side)… trying to make it in NYC… whether it’s flipping skateboard decks, starting a japanese denim line, working at Barneys, or printing classic t-shirts… they’re trying and they try with style. Fine, it’s a bit Entouragy, but HTMIA is way less flashy, sunny and pretty. And if you’ve ever been to the LES, you know it’s a far, far, FAR cry from the Hollywood Hills.

Main character, Ben, realizes he’s a failure after reuniting with a friend from high school (Eddie Kaye Thomas), so he raises his ambition bar from working at Barney’s to starting his own line of clothing. He’s got talent, but does he have enough determination and connections to get it done? He might… with the help of relentless buddy Cam, they’ve managed to meet/eat with designer John Varvatos and find the only place to get 50/50 classics for wholesale prices. Not bad for twentysomethings just trying to make it. I literally love everything about the show but here are 3 reasons to watch:

1) Bryan Greenberg — It’s about time! Bryan is a CW alumn (One Tree Hill, October Road) who’s finally landed a great role. And if you’ve ever seen Bride Wars you know just how awesome that movie was… I mean just how awesome he is.

2) Martha Plimpton — She’s been awesome ever since playing Stef in The Goonies (so stupid Mouth!) and she’s perfect for this part… Edie, Rachel’s crazy boss, who pops pills, smokes weed, drinks “espressos rimmed with Ritalin” and is pure entertainment all the way through.

3) The Music — From the catchy opening track (“I Need a Dollar”, Aloe Blacc) to classic and current hip-hop tracks including A Tribe Called Quest, Talib Kweli, and Digable Planets, the music is just as much a main character as Ben, Cam and the city of New York. Oh, Kid Cudi is also part of the cast. Fan it on Facebook and you can download the mixtape for free.

I believe there’s only 1 episode left, but it won’t be hard to find it on HBO or HBO On Demand. I really hope it gets a season 2. I really do. Did I mention Martha Plimpton was in this?

Other Highlights

90210 — How is 90210 becoming my favorite show on TV? I’m hearing something vicious involving Naomi is gonna go down and I can’t wait.

The Office — When Michael put on the Kangol hat I LOL’d like never before… certainly for the first time this season.

This will be the final season of The Hills. Rejoice!

This will be the last season of 24. I think it’s time… but we’re getting a movie!

Katherine Heigl is finally leaving Grey’s Anatomy. Seattle Grace will be a much better place without her.

My friend Moneka’s dream of meeting ANY cast member of Modern Family came true when she randomly had coffee beside Jesse Tyler Ferguson (Mitchell). If only Cam were there too!

Lowlights

Gossip Girl — It’s over. I’ve dropped it… about a year too late, but I did it. I dropped it. Now if only I can get my husband to do the same.

Tune of the Week

“Animal” by Mike Snow… heard this week in both Parenthood and Cougar Town.

What to Watch, Week of 3/29

Lost — I think it’s safe to say, watch every week… we’re so close! 7 more episodes until the 2-hour series finale… mark your calendars, Blackberries, iPhones, Outlooks, planners… whatever it takes to remind you. I’m already thinking about what I’m going to have for dinner that night.

March Madness — The Michigan State Spartans make it to the Final Four for the second year in a row. Being married to the biggest State fan is always fun (when they win) and Mercury Bar East, the official Michigan State bar in NYC, is showing their support… check it out below. GO SPARTANS!

Michigan State Sweet 16 — Mercury Bar East NYC

Parenthood (Tuesday, NBC, 10PM) — I got to watch the pilot episode of Parenthood (thanks to the free episode on iTunes, a plastic cup of wine and a train ride to see my mother) and I gotta say, I loved it. There was nothing to not love. It was funny, heartwarming and downright wonderful.

First, the cast is great. Peter Kraus, you are forgiven for Dirty Sexy Money. Lauren Graham, it was so good to see you again. Max Burkholder, you’re an excellent young actor and I loved your pirate outfit. Dax Shephard, you shocked the shit out of me. There are so many characters to focus on, the storylines can’t get old. It’s a true ensemble cast.

As we know, the show is based on the original movie (1989) starring Steve Martin. The pilot episode did a really good job paralleling the original storylines… it was a great adaptation and really set up the series nicely… the comparison is now out of the way (though I kinda wish Crosby’s illegitimate son’s name is Cool).

NBC has finally added another good drama to their lineup (Friday Night Lights, which returns 4/30, was drowning by itself). Let’s hope it’s a success without all of the trials, tribulations, and Direct TV FNL had to endure. Tune in folks!

Other Highlights

Lost – There are only 10 episodes left. That’s the highlight. I can not wait for Lost to be out of my life forever. Of course, not before knowing what the hell this ridiculous story is about.

The History Channel has a hit in Pawn Stars and is expanding their shops to New York and Miami!  Looks like it’s time for me to clean out my mother’s basement.

Sandra Bullock’s acceptance speech for winning best actress at last night’s Oscars. A true class-act.

Lowlights

George Clooney for winning the Oscar for biggest sourpuss of the night. Lighten up, Georgie. And don’t forget to stand up when an actor wins for Best Supporting Actress.

American Idol. Enough said.

What to Watch, Week of 3/8

Monday

Gossip Girl — It’s baaaack… and I have no idea what’s going on. Something about Serena’s dad being played by Billy Baldwin?

The Bachelor, Jason and Molly’s Wedding — If On The Wings of Love didn’t nauseate you enough, this oughta do it. Only the 2nd couple to make it for the long haul… Jason and sloppy-seconds-Molly swap vows for all the world to see. Good for them!

Tuesday

90210 – It’s baaaack… and I have no idea what’s going on. Something about Jasper blackmailing Annie and Adrianna being a lesbian?

Wednesday

Lost — Apparently episode 15 is the one to wait for but episode 7 will have to do.

*Special Tune-In: Monday, March 15th — Yours truly will be in the studio audience for next Monday’s Live with Regis and Kelly and you will never guess who the guest will be. The motherload of them all… Jennifer f*cking Aniston. I may die right there on the set… and I promise to make a fool of myself.

Brothers & Sisters (Sunday, ABC, 10PM) — I consistently neglect one of my favorite shows week after week and it’s simply because I’m 32 years old and like to be in bed by 10 on a school night, especially on Sunday. With Brothers & Sisters airing on Sunday at 10PM, I never watch it live… and considering this column posts on Monday at 2:00, I don’t get to write about it. So this week I’ve decided to honor B&S, stay up late, watch it and discuss. I heart the Walkers. They make my family look like the Cleavers. I’ve almost lost count of the siblings: there’s Sarah, Tommy, Kitty, Kevin and Justin. Then there’s Rebecca… who was once mistaken for their bastard half-sister and love-child of cheating, deceased patriarch, William. That actually ended up being bastard half-brother, Ryan. However, Rebecca is the daughter of Holly who had a 15+ year love affair with William and owns half of the family business, Ojai Foods. Oh, and Rebecca is engaged to Justin so she’s once again part of the family. These siblings lie, cheat, manipulate and stab each other in the back (and front!) while they protect, love and actually care about each other at the same time. And standing at the head of all the drama is mother, Nora (Sally Field), who deserves a medal, a pedestal, a trophy, what-have-you… but, is the cause of the root of the family drama more times than not.

Current storylines? They’re a little weak. I hate the Sarah/Luc story. I thought we had said au revoir and sent him back to France but he came back… and now they’re in love. Great. Rebecca lost her baby which is very sad, but I’m over Rebecca/Justin drama. Kitty’s cancer came and went way too quickly and her husband Robert (Rob Lowe) went from running for governor to just staying a senator to… nothing. And rumors are that Robe Lowe is leaving the show which is unfortunate. I wonder how they will write him off. Not death… it’s always good to keep an open door for a guest appearance (though Melrose Place has no problem killing people off and bringing them back decades later). Maybe it has something to do with this super-job he’s anticipating. I am very eager to see the mysterious secret value of Ojai foods unfold. We’ve been led to believe it’s worth a shit-ton of money but how? Is it this so-called lake? Hopefully it’s revealed in the upcoming flashback to the 70′s and 80′s episode when the Walker brood are still kids and William Walker is still alive. It’s gonna be like the Brady Bunch sans Alice. No worries, we still have Uncle Saul…

Somewhere In Between

American Idol — Mediocre at best. Clearly, some of these contestants have never seen the show (you know you should never… ever… sing Heart, unless you’re Carrie Underwood) or have never missed an episode and are trying too hard (the only person with the right to butcher Kelly Clarkson, is Kelly Clarkson). Let’s hope next week is much, MUCH better.

Lost – More questions! What are we, 6 seasons in now and we learn that Jack has a son? Did he always have a son or does he only exist in the new parallel universe? Who’s his mom? Jack’s ex-wife? Kate? Juliette? HUH! And was she not home because she was having coffee with Sawyer?! And why did he smash the mirrors? That was frustrating… we were getting somewhere. It’s 100% confirmed, Claire and Sayid are “infected” by the man in black… and they’re friends. Where the hell are they?! My girl Kristen says we find out what the island is very soon.

Lowlights

Promos for the upcoming return of Gossip Girl (March 8th) read “Damn That Mother-Chucker.” Really CW? Really.

Tune of the Week

“Waiting For My Real Life To Begin” by Colin Hay featured in Brothers & Sisters during Robert’s heartwarming toast to Kevin.

What to Watch, Week of 3/1

Monday

One Tree Hill — It’s the last episode until April 26th and Alex now has a sex tape that’s about to ba-low up.

Tuesday

Parenthood — New series based on the movie from the 80′s starring Steve Martin (and Keanu Reeves!). Some big names in this one: Peter Krause, Lauren Graham, Craig T. Nelson, Dax Shepard, and Erika Christensen to name a few. Sadly, Martha Plimpton will not be reprising her role as Julie Buckman. I don’t know what to do with this. Tuesday at 10PM (NBC) is kinda tough. It’s a DVR-watch-later kinda show for me. 

Tuesday/Wednesday/Thursday

American Idol — The top 20 better step up their game because they’re on the path to being part of the worst (and final) season ever. Even worse than Soul Patrol’s season five.

Thursday

The Office — The baby is here! 

Sunday

The 82nd Annual Academy Awards — The final to awards season (amen!). Here are the nominees. I am personally pulling for Sandy Bullock.

Happy 5th Birthday, Justin! Regardless of what you say, I’m better at nerf basketball than you… XOXO Loverboy!

Lost (Tuesday, ABC, 9PM) — Who is the man in black? I don’t even remember the man in black (thank goodness for that recap hour). It seems as if the devilish man in black has the ability to take the form of dead bodies… so I guess Locke really is dead… and it wasn’t really Jack’s father following him around on the island that whole time (or was it?). Oh and the man in black is also the smoke monster.

We did learn a little something in the 2-hour premiere of the final season of Lost, but it didn’t make us really understand much. Baby steps, I suppose. According to Juliet, the plan worked and I don’t see how. From what I can tell, they are living in parallel universes… one version of them still on the island, another as if the plane never crashed. However, we also know the plane is not a reenactment of the original flight. Desmond was never on that plane and Boone (who I completely forgot existed) left his sister in Australia this time. We also learn that Charlie actually wanted to die (we think), Kate escapes (we think), and Rose and Bernard live life together, happily ever after (at least we hope). There were many interesting parts, but one of the most to me was the encounter between Jack and Locke in the airport. “Nothing’s irreversible” and Jack offers to help “fix” Locke. I hope that story goes somewhere.

Before I make myself look like a fool for misinterpreting even more than I already have, let’s discuss the temple. Who the hell are those people? Was young Ben sent there after he was shot and almost killed by Sayid? And then Sayid ends up there himself, dying… dead… alive. What the? What went on there? Where did those people and that pool of magical holy water come from? So many questions and not many answers… yet. They promised. They totally promised.

Other Highlights

Thanks to Modern Family, “moon landing” is now a part of my vocabulary.

Congrats to the New Orleans Saints who accomplished the impossible and beat Peyton Manning in Super Bowl XLIV (44). Couldn’t have happened to a better team, quarterback, coach and city. 

Google wins for best Super Bowl commercial. They nailed it.

Lowlights

Turns out some of the Losties have had it. Sorry, Matthew Fox, if Lost and Party of Five didn’t cut it for you. And sorry, Evangeline Lily, if Lost made you too famous and you’d like more privacy (and in a few months you’ll be begging for a job because actors are self-indulgent and need attention to live).

Tune of the Week

“Saved” by Jesse James Kingston, featured in the final scene of Life Unexpected. Who is this guy? I love him, he’s one of my kind. You can download the song for free here.

What to Watch, Week of 2/8

Tuesday
American Idol — We’re goin’ to Hollywood! However, rumor has it the Top 24 have been leaked. We’ll see if someone put the final nail in Idol’s coffin.

Lost — We’ve put this much time in already, what’s another 16 hours?

Sunday

The Amazing Race — If for no other reason, to see Jeff and Jordan.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Pawn Stars/American Pickers (Monday, History Channel) – While the rest of America was tuning in to the NBC late-night television Conan/Leno debacle, in addition to watching the funniest late night host of them all, Chelsea Handler, I was watching my other late-night guilty pleasures… on the History channel. Uh huh, you heard me correctly. It all started one night with Pawn Stars. How I came across it, I do not know… but thank goodness I did because I love it. It’s a show about the Gold and Silver Pawn Shop in Las Vegas, owned by 3 generations of the Harrison family who are each unique and amusing, particularly the grandfather Richard. Pawners bring their crap into the shop and the Harrisons try and figure out if it’s real, what it’s worth and how much they can buy/sell it for. The stuff ranges from coins, to guns/swords, to old military uniforms, to motorcycles and you’d be surprised to find what’s real and how much it’s valued at. One dude brought in this old double-barrel gun to find out that it was from the 1700′s and worth 10K. When the Harrisons can’t determine the authenticity of items, they bring in a team of experts to examine and value the items for them. And you actually learn something about history and artifacts along the way… it sounds boring, I know, but I promise it isn’t. Corey’s lethargic, childhood friend Chumlee is always there for a laugh, saying or doing something dumb… usually costing himself or Rick some sum of money. But nonetheless, Rick’s always got a smile on his face, with a hearty laugh to go with it.

One night I flipped to the History channel looking for a Pawn Star rerun, but found another History channel treasure, American Pickers. It’s a show about Mike and Frank and their quest to turn other peoples junk into profit. They travel the country “picking” through garages, attics, junkyards, and barns hoping to come across items, hopefully with stories to go along with them, that they can restore and turn into antiques. And there are no limitations to the things they “pick.” Jars, oil cans, signs, lights, cars, engines, toys, bikes… and it’s crazy how much they know about … well … crap. They pass that knowledge along to us and as useless as it is, it’s fun to hear about. Mike’s got a shop in Iowa called Antique Archaeology where he does his restoring and reselling… I don’t know how he got started, but it’s clearly his calling.

New episodes of American Pickers air on Monday at 9:00PM, and Pawn Stars on Monday at 10:00PM.

Other Highlights

Life Unexpected — No, I love! A perfect cross between Gilmore Girls and Everwood. The CW has gone back to its roots… The WB. Unlike the skanky, obnoxious shows the CW has cranked out (Gossip Girl, 90210, Melrose Place), Life UneXpected (LUX, thats what the fans are calling it, and also the name of the lead character) is a family show… and you don’t feel like showering after you watch it.

24 — Renee has some set of onions. Death stared her point-blank in the face and she outstared it back into the thick of the Russian mob. She made Jack look like a total wuss.

Lowlights

Outside of Gaga and Beyonce’s performances, nothing particularly special happened at last night’s Grammys. And Taylor Swift, while sweet as pie, should perhaps stick to songwriting for other pop princesses that can really sing (none come to mind). That performance was awful… Simon Cowell would have dismissed her immediately. I don’t understand all the rage.  

After 4 seasons, the funny, whimsical, but deteriorating Ugly Betty has been cancelled. America Ferrara will be fine… I hope the others will be too… it’s been fun.

What to Watch, Week of 2/1

Tuesday

Lost — The final season begins. Damon, Carlton… I beg of you to make it all make sense. I beg.

Sunday

The Super Bowl — Manning vs. Brees. The Colts vs. The World. WHO DAT.

Cougar Town (Wednesday, 9:30PM, ABC) — I was a little behind on one of my favorite new shows of the season… hell, one of my favorite shows on TV, Cougar Town, and I am finally all caught up. That show cracks. me. up. Just when I thought there was no way Courteney Cox could be funnier than she was as Monica Geller, she is as funny, if not funnier, as Jules Cobb. I don’t have Showtime so I do not watch United States of Tara (though I have seen it) and Toni Collette is excellent, but I think Courteney got robbed at the Globes. Especially at an awards show where underdogs and comeback kids rule the envelopes.

I am very sad Scott Foley is no longer on the show. Not only was Jeff great with Jules, but the Noel/Javier reunion on the small screen brought a tear to my eye. And if you add in Busy Phillips (Laurie), we have ourselves a full-blown WB reunion. Speaking of Busy, if she and judgmental neighbor Ellie (Christa Miller) were up for best supporting actress in a TV role, you know what? It would result in a tie. They are equally hilarious… they are the icing on the cake. Sadly, neither of them were nominated. They were winners to me! Even the men are funny. Barb, the slutty jaguar is funny. The whole damn show is freakin’ funny.

I’m not sure I like where the relationships are heading… yes I miss Jules and Jeff, but obviously at some point, Jules will get together with Grayson. Now Grayson is banging Laurie, which could ruin Jules’ chances with Grayson in the future. I don’t even know if I want her with Grayson. I love Bobby! Sigh. Most people probably don’t realize but the true love story of Cougar Town is between Ellie and Andy. They make love and marriage work… I mean fresh doughnuts after sex? Hey, Bay… Dunkin Donuts is one block away.

Other Highlights

Life Unexpected — Yes! A smart show with good actors and an actual compelling story line. This is the CW show I’ve been waiting for. Brit Robertson (Lux) is a young great talent and I hope she breaks out in this role (apparently Swingtown didn’t launch her career). I am in for the long haul and you should be too. One question though, how did Cate get engaged, have sex with Baze… twice… and then bounce right back to Ryan? That’s gonna come back to bite her in the buns.

Our favorite Big Brother couple, Jeff & Jordan, will be 1 of the 11 teams on the new season of The Amazing Race. I haven’t watched the show since my friend Meredith was the second team eliminated on season 6 because she couldn’t climb an ice wall or drive stick (I told you so). However, I could never pass up another opportunity to watch Jeff & brainless, sweet Jordan in action again.

Lowlights

The Deep End — Laaaaaaame. Just like I was afraid of. Boring, predictable, and first-year sex addict Liam was just plain ridiculous. Strike one. Matt Long is still a cutie though.

Grey’s Anatomy — Let’s get real – Alex, you’re not that good of a guy, and you don’t deserve the best woman in the world… in fact you and Izzie deserve each other.

Rob Lowe is leaving Brother & Sisters. And it looks like Kitty might be rekindling her romance with her playground buddy.

What to Watch, Week of 1/25

Monday

24 — Renee Walker has gone postal and only Jack can stop her… or join her.

Life Unexpected — The best thing to come my way in a loooooooong time.

Thursday

Grey’s Anatomy — Will Izzie rejoin Seattle Grace and make Alex’s life a living hell? On one hand, I’d prefer her to leave the show forever. On the other hand, I’m up for making Alex feel like the douche he is.

Sunday

The Grammy Awards — Performers include: Beyoncé, Black Eyed Peas, Bon Jovi, Dave Matthews Band, Green Day, Lady Gaga, Pink, Taylor Swift… and obviously, a Michael Jackson tribute.

24 (Monday, 9PM, FOX) — Tick… tick… tick… tick… “The following takes place between 4pm and 5pm.” Ahh, it was so good to hear those words. Jack Bauer, unwillingly, was back in action rather quickly this season and thank goodness for that. He tried, unsuccessfully, to not be involved with CTU affairs but it didn’t happen and before we knew it, he was toting around a terrorist, shooting locks off doors with his last bullet, and saving the lives of others while putting his own at risk… basically, he was just being Jack. It was so very Jack of him to slice that fire ax into the chest of that bad guy.

There are some great new cast additions this season… Jessica Stein, Anil Kapoor (Slumdog Millionaire), and Freddie Prinz Jr. are among them. Doug Hutchison (aka, Horace from Lost) plays a great villain (he was horrible Percy in Green Mile after all) and horrified us all when he took his partner hostage and viciously shot his wife when he began to fight back. 24 is already causing bad dreams and loss of sleep, and tonight’s 2-hour continuation should be full of more nightmares come true… Jack-style.

The worst part of the night? Kim Bauer (Elisha Cuthbert) is on the show… again.

Other Highlights

Grey’s Anatomy/Private Practice — Christina fully gave up Owen to ensure Teddy stayed at the hospital and it was awesome. Though sad and shocking, that was the only response that would’ve been true to Christina’s character. Also, wasn’t it so good to see Mark and Addison back in the sack?

Mark your calendars, set your DVR… Perez Hilton told my friend Melissa, who told me that Friday Night Lights will finally be coming back to NBC on April 30th!

The New York Jets shocked the world by defeating the San Diego Chargers, 17-14, and I couldn’t be prouder.

Lowlights

Michael C. Hall (Dexter) announced recently that he’s battling Hodgkin’s lymphoma, but luckily has been treated and is in remission. We love you, Dex!

What to Watch, Week of 1/18

Monday

One Tree Hill — It’s the first episode since the winter break. I think it left off at… Haley’s going on tour, Nathan is playing for the Bobcat’s again and he’s taken Clay back as a friend and agent.

Life Unexpected – The new CW drama about an emancipated, 15-year-old minor who sets out to find her biological parents, begins this week. I have been looking forward to this and am definitely watching.

24 — It’s part 2 of the 4-hour premiere extravaganza, and while we all want to see what happens in the assassination plot, I’m more interested in Dana’s (aka, Jenny) big secret.

Thursday

The Deep End – A new ABC law series… it looks mediocre at best, but as I already said, I will watch because it stars Matt Long, who played Jack in one of the most underrated TV shows of all time, Jack & Bobby.

Grey’s Anatomy — Is Sloan Sloan going to give up her baby? What’s Mark gonna think of that? Will he and Lexi get back together?

Jersey Shore — It’s the season finale! I hate goodbyes! How will I live without Snookie/Shnookie/Snickers? Let’s all say a prayer for a season 2.

Sunday

New York Jets — These Cinderellas are heading to Indy to play Peyton and the Colts in the AFC Championship game. Like many other Jet fans, I’m just starting to believe. Go get em, boys.

The holidays are over. We’re 11 days into frigid January. Spring is 68 days away. What do we have to look forward to? TV winter premieres, that’s what (hey, it’s something). Now the real truth is that we’re going to have to wait many months for some of our faves to come back (Glee for instance, returns in April), but some have already returned (Desperate Housewives, Brothers & Sisters, Modern Family, Cougar Town), there are some new goodies on their way now and some of our go-tos return this week. Here’s what to watch for this winter season:

American Idol (January 12th) – Whether you want to or not, it’s all you’ll be hearing about for the next 5 months. We’ll have to adjust to Idol without Paula (big mistake), Idol with Ellen (she’s a semi-exasperating comedian who doesn’t belong there at all and will end up being more annoying than Paula) and a 9th season circulated by rumors of it being Simon’s last. Stop distracting us, producers! All we want is to endlessly pick apart, habitually make fun of, and potentially ruin the lives of 95% of the contestants… is that too much to ask for?

24 (January 17th) — I need a little action in my life… 24 hours of it to be exact. Season 8 kicks off in New York City and rejoining Jack this season are our favorite CTU phenom, Chloe O’Brian, President, Allison Taylor, and action agent-ette and potential love interest, Renee Walker. Also joining the show this season is Freddie Prinze Jr. (yay!) as field ops agent, Cole Ortiz.

Life Unexpected — The new CW drama is about an emancipated, 15 year-old minor who sets out to find her biological parents. It stars Kristoffer Polaha, who I once loved as Jason on North Shore (yeah I watched that) and Kerr Smith who is best known as gay Jack on Dawson’s Creek. Life Unexpected has been described as “‘Juno’ meets Gilmore Girls’” so really, what’s not to watch?

The Deep End — A new ABC law drama about 20-something’s that are trying to cut it in a LA power-law firm… blah blah blah. Been there, done that, however, I will tune in because it stars Matt Long, who played Jack in one of the most underrated TV shows of all time, Jack & Bobby.

Lost (February 2nd) — I remember a deep hole, I remember a bomb, and then I remember nothing. That’s about how it went, right? Note the new night… Tuesday.

What to Watch, Week of 1/11

Monday

The Bachelor: On The Wings of Love — If you can stomach Jake (and the awful tagline to this season), please continue… I won’t be.

Tuesday

American Idol — If you can live without watching weeks of auditions, you’ve got some time. My recommendation is to start tuning in at Hollywood.

The Biggest Loser — This show is an inspiration. Even if you can’t watch every week, try and tune in on occasion, even if you’re 90 lbs soaking wet. There’s something to learn here.

Thursday

Grey’s Anatomy, 30 Rock, Private Practice – After weeks of repeats, they’re all brand spankin’ new

Sunday

New York Jets — The Jets defense is providing its fans something to hang their hopes on… and that hunk Mark Sanchez provides a lil somethin’ for the ladies.

The Golden Globes — Ricky Gervais hosts the most fun awards show of them all.

24 — It’s a 2-night, 4-hour premiere.  2 on Sunday, 2 on Monday.  Make it work.

The Sing-Off (Monday, 8PM, NBC) — NBC has decided to finally get caught up in musically-talented reality TV shows (The Singing Bee doesn’t count) and all I can say is Merry Christmas to me. Take American Idol, combine it with Glee and sprinkle in a little America’s Next Dance Crew and you’ve got The Sing-Off… a week long extravaganza which begins on Monday in a 2-hour premiere.

Eight a cappella groups compete to be the best in America, which earns them an Epic Records/Sony Music recording contract (what, no cash?). You can check out the contestants now and see which performances you are looking forward to most. My early money is on Beelzebubs because of their records and awards, but maybe the underdogs, Solo, will dig deep into their hearts and take it all.

Let’s talk about the 3 judges for a sec. First is Ben Folds (of Ben Folds Five)… an interesting choice particularly because he doesn’t seem like someone who would want to be part of a reality show competition but he’s a lyrical nerd who possibly jumped up and down at the chance to be a bit more famous, even if only for a week. Next is Shawn Stockman… I know, who the hell is that? He’s one of the Boys II Men, the most successful male vocal group ever… so it does make sense. And what’s he got to do? Lastly, there’s Nicole Scherzinger, the only Pussycat Doll that actually sings (the other 10 should meet up with the 2 “other” members of the Black Eyed Peas and all do nothing together). And who’s the host you ask? It’s no other than Nick Lachey… does it get any better? I think not.

Get involved in this one, people.

Highlights

MTV’s Jersey Shore has been highly criticized for stereotyping Italian-Americans. I couldn’t care less about that. What I love the most about Jersey Shore is that they made a TV show about the Jersey Shore… Seaside Heights to be specific, and I’m here to defend it. I love the Jersey Shore… I went “down the shore” to Seaside Heights every summer with my family for long weekends. I went to the beach, I ate pizza, taffy and waffles and ice cream on the boardwalk, I played all of the boardwalk games, I rode the rides (LoveBug anyone?), including the scenic boardwalk chairlift, and I stayed at the Hershey Motel every time. It’s a great place to bring your family for a few days. There’s always been a hackneyed idea that the Jersey Shore is cheesy, and I do not disagree with that, but it’s all good fun. Even as an after-prom destination, I wasn’t fist-pumping at Karma, I was drinking beer in my motel room, riding the rides and playing the games. The creatures featured in Jersey Shore are definitely a dime a dozen when it comes to share-houses, but I think it’s more of a reflection of where they came from, not where they choose to spend their summers. They should really have a reality show about Staten Island… now that would be something that would keep you up at night.

Lowlights

MTV’s, Jersey Shore.

What to Watch, Week of December 14th

The Sing-Off is clearly where it’s at. What better way to get into the holiday spirit with a new talent competition that’s not going to take over the next several weeks of your life? Short, sweet, and fun. According to my DVR, it’s on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday this week.

Thursday

Saturday Night Live Presents: A Very Gilly Christmas — An SNL special featuring my fave skit character, Gilly (Kristen Wiig). Sorry!

We’ve already started, so taking our eyes away from Jersey Shore is nearly impossible. I need to see what happens between Ronnie and Sammi.