10. I’m not a big fan of shopping centers because, if you’ve seen one, you’ve seen the mall.
9. I thought I’d found a mass grave for snowmen, but it turned out it was just a field of carrots.
8. I was so drunk last night that, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bar, I won the dance contest.
7. Prison walls are never built to scale.
6. My memory is so good, I can’t remember the last time I forgot something.
5. My physics teacher told me I had a lot of potential, just before he pushed me off the roof.
4. After several karate lessons, I can now break a five-inch board with my cast.
3. I stayed up all last night, trying to remember if I had amnesia or insomnia.
2. Ebola has people so afraid of Liberians, they’ve completely stopped checking out books.
1. I’d have to say, looking over the past decade, this year would definitely be in my top ten.
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.