There really is nothing worse than having someone tell you how you are supposed to feel, except maybe having someone blow an emotion right down your throat like a horse pill. This is probably why sentimentality in art has become, over the years, such an offensive sin. But the shame of it is, it seems that some artists have confused sentimentality with the mere presence of emotion in art. These people have allowed the fear of being sentimental to sterilize their work. [Read more →]

Tags: advice, artistic unknowns by Chris Matarazzo by Chris Matarazzo
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A student of mine just said she has “writer’s block.” It got me thinking about something I rarely consider.

I’m not sure how to say this without sounding smug or arrogant, so I’ll just say it: I have never had an issue with writer’s block, nor will I ever. If you have dealt with creative blocks, I don’t mean to be offensive or condescending. It’s just that I believe that writer’s block is a myth and that once we believe in the myth, it can take us over and drive our creativity into the ground, becoming real to us. I don’t believe in it; therefore, I render it impotent. Consider this the reverse of that scene in Peter Pan where the kids clap for Tinkerbelle to show they believe. Together, we can kill the mythical creature that is writer’s block by simply not clapping. [Read more →]

Tags: advice, artistic unknowns by Chris Matarazzo by Chris Matarazzo
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10. You’re just waking up from your 2009 New Year’s Eve party

9. For Dancing With the Stars, you bet your life’s savings on Michael Bolton

8. Both your cholesterol and your children are way too high

7. When the airport’s full-body scanner tried to scan you, the screen cracked

6. You’re still Bernie Madoff

5. You’ve started a brand new week by reading a lame Top Ten list

4. For Christmas, your wife gave you that new STD iPhone app

3. You’re a Democrat

2. You’re not in the top two percent wealthiest Americans

1. You have a pre-existing condition
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Tags: advice, Bob Sullivan's top ten everything, ends & odd by Bob Sullivan
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‘Tis a new year, kids, and I am excited about the work I have ahead of me. I have a feeling 2011 is going to be a busy one for Meg Boyle, Patron Saint of Celebrity Advice. Thankfully, there is enough of me to go around (and if I keep eating the way I did over the holidays, there may soon be even more me to go around…).

But which wayward celebrity will end up needing my advice the most, I wonder? Let’s take a look at some of the nominees for Potential Hottest Mess of 2011… [Read more →]

Tags: art & entertainment, Meg gives advice to famous people by Meg Boyle
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10. During your physical, they found traces of blood in your alcohol

9. At AA meetings you begin: “Hi, my name is… uh…Wait, I know this as well as I know my own name….‘Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday, dearrrrr…’”

8. You keep claiming you’re “as jober as a sudge”

7. You make Lindsay Lohan look like Susan Boyle

6. The room is spinning faster than a hamster wheel

5. You’re wondering how you wound up with a chest tattoo of Cloris Leachman

4. You have toilet seat bruises all over the back of your head

3. Your idea of cutting back is less salt on the rim of your Margarita glass

2. You keep falling off the floor

1. You think Sarah Palin would make a great President
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Tags: advice, Bob Sullivan's top ten everything, drugs & alcohol by Bob Sullivan
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Fun fact about Meg Boyle: I was a huge fan of E!’s reality show “The Girls Next Door,” which documented the high-larious hijinx of Playboy Magazine founder Hugh Hefner and his three barely legal, barely natural girlfriends (note: I speak of the original, awesome “GND”, not the weird, twin-tastic reincarnation). Those who were also fans of the show know well the bitter pill that long-suffering “#1 Girlfriend” Holly Madison – who genuinely seemed to love The Hef, or so it seemed to this viewer – had to continuously swallow every time Hugh brushed off her long-held desire to marry him and have his children. Eventually, Holly followed the sound of her ticking biological clock right out of the Playboy Mansion as we fans shed a single tear for what might have been and then promptly forgot that the show ever existed.

But! Now! News from the InterWeb: Hef! Gets! Engaged! The man who said “marriage isn’t part of my puzzle” proposed to his 24-year old girlfriend on Christmas Eve, which also happens to be one day after Holly’s birthday. Fans, join me now in a rousing chorus of “Aw, hell nah!” Poor Holly. All those emotions she must be feeling right now! Who ever can she turn to for advice on how to cope with this heartbreak? Lucky for you, Holly dear, I have a lot of experience finding out that the dude you left because he wouldn’t commit has miraculously changed his tune for the very next chick he laid eyes on. Come crawl into Auntie Meg’s lap, Holly; I’m about to share with you my five-step plan for dealing with hypocritical ex-boyfriends, a five-step plan I like to call Dancing It Out with Meg Boyle. [Read more →]

Tags: art & entertainment, Meg gives advice to famous people by Meg Boyle
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Right now I am at hotel computer in Connecticut freezing my ass off. The automatic doors are broken from the wind last night, so there is a steady breeze that chills the lobby and the computer lab down the hall. I spent yesterday morning going to LaGuardia in a snow storm, and yesterday afternoon and night returning from LaGuardia in a blizzard. The worst part is that I have a bad cold and little money. Why should you care? Because my story is the story of the people you see on the news who you are glad to be not. And you just might learn something. [Read more →]

Tags: advice, diatribes by Robert O'Hara
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Generally speaking, everybody hates Christmas.  I mean, everybody loves Christmas; it’s just that Christmas is kind of horrible.  C’mon, you know what I mean!  Wah, Wah! Buy me a gift! I want a present! God, mom. Give it a rest.  The good news is, I’m here to make everything about Christmas easier.  If you’ve been waiting until the last minute to buy the person you love the greatest present in the world, you’ve found the perfect gift guide.  If you’re Jewish, close this page and go eat a matzoh or something. [Read more →]

Tags: advice, mostly kidding by Matt Scottoline by Matt Scottoline
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I’m back, dear readers. I hope you’ll forgive my little gentleman’s intermission of the past few weeks–let’s just say that I do not recommend moving in the middle of Thanksgiving. And let’s just say that I’m a little underwhelmed with the traffic of celebrity gossip this month. No celebrities hot-footing it to rehab, no nasty divorces (except Eva Longoria, to whom I have to say: Really? You’re divorcing him because of text messages?). I’m like a man without a country; a nun without a calling. Luckily, when Hollywood lets me down, there will always be an even more dysfunctional town in this country that needs me. My advice this week goes out to you, Washington, specifically to two former foes who are dancing on my last two nerves. [Read more →]

Tags: Meg gives advice to famous people, politics & government by Meg Boyle
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I am sick as a dog, dear readers. How sick is she?  She is sicker than a consumptive waif in a Bronte novel. She is so sick that her eyes, burning with fever, can barely see the screen upon which she types her weekly words of wisdom. She is so sick, in fact, that she will have to keep her advice very short this week. Charlie Sheen, this one’s for you: Get it. The hell. Together. [Read more →]

Tags: art & entertainment, Meg gives advice to famous people by Meg Boyle
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