Tyler Samien used to think he was something special. But now, looking down from his platform on the shipping dock he oversees each night, he knows he’ll probably never become a real ninja. He’ll probably never play for stadiums of raging fans or lead a rebellion against any heavy-booted regime. But he still dreams…. and writes.

Tyler has a BA in English/creative writing from the University of Tennessee. He currently lives outside of Knoxville, TN and participates in a variety of spirited activities from drunk rafting to the formulation of daring schemes to recover his original When Falls the Coliseum copy from his ex. Tyler is excited by the idea of having sex with that “special part of his male body” but can, on occasion, also respond to agnostic philosophy and dystopian fiction. Tyler eats food, sleeps with his eyes closed, and sees both religion and crack cocaine as potentially dangerous inventions.

This just in: A threatening ransom note/photo was sent to us anonymously. We have posted it below, hoping that it might provide some clue to the identity of the perpetrator. If you recognize the handwriting on the note or you know the whereabouts of the perpetrator or the kidnap victim, we urge you to contact authorities immediately. We suspect someone’s ex…

 

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