Top ten signs you’ve eaten too much Thanksgiving dinner today

10. While slicing the pumpkin pie, you cut your finger and gravy comes out

9. Just like one of those turkey thermometers so you can tell when it’s done, your belly button pops out

8. After the meal, you have to loosen the band on your wristwatch

7. NASA is considering a mission to photograph the other side of you

6. A policeman comes up to you and orders you to disperse

5. After dinner, when you get on a plane from New York to Los Angeles, it has to taxi the whole way

4. Both Ben and Jerry friend you on Facebook

3. The super in your building changes the sign in the elevator to read “Maximum Occupancy: 1”

2. You start sweating yams

1. You catch the flesh eating bacteria, and are given 67 years to live
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

• Author Bio ^[1]
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Bob Sullivan ^[3]

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus ^[4] (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 ^[5] and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.

Latest posts by Bob Sullivan (Posts ^[6])

• Top ten reasons this will be my last Top Ten List ^[7] - April 30, 2018
• Top ten more syntax one-liners ^[8] - April 23, 2018
• Top ten more alcohol one-liners ^[9] - April 16, 2018
• Top ten more dog one-liners ^[10] - April 9, 2018
• Top ten revelations in the Stormy Daniels 60 Minutes interview ^[11] - April 2, 2018