10. I bet the butcher fifty bucks he couldn’t reach the meat on the top shelf, but he said the steaks were too high.
9. When my wife kicked me out, I started living in a telephone booth, because I just wanted somewhere I could call home.
8. I made a chicken salad last night, but apparently they prefer to eat grain.
7. Standing in the park, I was wondering why a Frisbee looks larger and larger the closer it gets, and then it hit me!
6. I was hanging from the bridge when a rescue worker shouted, “Whatever you do, don’t look down!” – so I started smiling.
5. When people ask me why I wanted to be a film editor, I answer, “Well, to cut a long story short…”
4. I’ve just invented a working catapult, but it’s disguised as a sofa, so it tends to throw a lot of people.
3. While I was using the ATM, this little old gray-haired lady asked me if I’d help her check her balance, so I pushed her over.
2. I sent ten different puns into a local newspaper’s pun contest, hoping that one of them would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
1. Yesterday, on its last day, my best friend, who’s a dyslexic plumber, told me just how disappointed he was in this year’s Philadelphia Shower Flow.
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
Latest posts by Bob Sullivan (Posts)
- Top ten lines from a joke you should tell at Easter Dinner today — or on Monday a day late (since this post is a day early) - April 16, 2017
- In honor of Easter, top ten favorite Bible quotes - April 10, 2017
- Top ten unanswered questions - April 3, 2017
- Now that Spring is here, top ten signs your house could use a good spring cleaning - March 27, 2017
- Top ten pun-liners - March 20, 2017