Top ten axioms to get your New Year off on the right foot
10. You can achieve everything you want, if you’re unambitious enough.
9. Politics isn’t left vs. right, it’s top vs. bottom.
8. Never get in line behind the Devil at the DMV, for the Devil takes many forms.
7. The speed with which a woman says, “Nothing,” when asked what’s wrong is inversely proportional to the intensity of the coming storm.
6. I’ll believe corporations are people when Texas executes one.
5. (for anyone in a relationship) Would you rather be right, or would you rather be happy?
4. War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
3. The face of a child says it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
2. We don’t negotiate with terrorists, except for the price of the weapons we sell them.
1. If you don’t think it’s all about perspective, just consider the fact that the sinking of the Tiitanic was a miracle for the lobsters in the ship’s kitchen.
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
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