10. Santa’s elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.
9. The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven’t seen for 20 minutes.
8. ’Tis the season to awkwardly walk by someone ringing a bell.
7. I once bought my kid a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying “Toys not included.”
6. As Mrs. Grinch said, “His heart wasn’t the only thing that was two sizes too small.”
5. Are we doing “Secret Santa” this year, because I accidentally bought some unsalted butter.
4. I am the ghost of Christmas Future Perfect Subjunctive, and I will show you what would have happened were you not to have changed your ways!
3. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
2. It’s hard to believe, but there are 364 days until Christmas, and people already have their Christmas lights up.
1. I wasn’t planning on giving Christmas gifts this year, but then I heard about those Samsung Galaxy phones.
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
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