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Top ten excuses of Travis Wagner, a 21-year-old Lancaster County, PA man arrested for having sex with a miniature pony

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10. He started horsing around, and then things just got out of hand.

9. During the playoffs, he misheard when someone said he should be rooting for the Phillies!

8. He knew he’d never have to pay palimony to a palomino.

7. Seriously, have you seen that horse?!

6. His ex-girlfriend once told him he was hung like one.

5. As a kid, he loved riding that horsie in front of Kmart.

4. He claimed he was looking for a stable relationship.

3. The pony looked exactly like his high school sweetheart.

2. He was put up to it – by a small step stool.

1. His friends had misunderstood him when they told him it was perfectly okay if he was “feeling a little hoarse.”
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.

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