adviceBob Sullivan's top ten everything

With summer beginning today, top ten signs your house still needs a spring cleaning

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10. When you finally make your bed, you find that missing shoe

9. You wipe your feet on the mat before stepping outside

8. You mistook the dust on the windowsills for “gray snow”

7. Even Jehovah’s Witnesses won’t enter your house

6. When somebody asks, “What died in here?” you give them a list

5. When you looked at your shower drain, at first you thought Cousin Itt had drowned

4. Your Glade Plugin has given up the fight

3. This morning, you had to eat your cereal with a measuring spoon out of a Bundt pan

2. Even your dog refuses to eat off the floor

1. Something keeps closing your refrigerator door…from the inside!

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.
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