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Top ten things overheard at last night’s Tony Awards

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10. “Look, they got one of the Teletubbies to host!”

9. “I hope they show Laurie Metcalf hobbling Bruce Willis.”

8. “I mean, do they have to use the full title Shuffle Along, or, the Making of the Musical Sensation of 1921 and All That Followed every single time they mention it?”

7. “I only hope I live long enough to be included in that In Memoriam segment.”

6. “I hear they’re preparing another one of those jukebox musicals like Jersey Boys or Mama Mia! called Blame It On the Rain, based on the music of Milli Vanilli.”

5. “So Barbra Streisand was famous for something besides those Fockers movies?”

4. “I’d much prefer King Charles III to King Donald I.”

3. “I thought they already made King Donald I. It’s called American Psycho.”

2. “In what month is thing scheduled to end?”

1. “I was kinda disappointed in Hamilton, but then I thought it was going to be about Margaret Hamilton, who played the Wicked Witch in The Wizard of Ox.”
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.
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