Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingmovies

Top ten signs Harrison Ford is too old to star in the fifth Indiana Jones movie

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10. He’s older than some of the relics he’s looking for

9. His fedora now has a chin strap

8. He’s going to carry a whip in one hand and a walking stick in the other

7. It opens with him trying to outrun a runaway shopping cart

6. In the second sequence, he comes across a jewel-encrusted hip replacement

5. There’s a fight to the death atop a Rascal scooter

4. They’re changing his name to Indiana Groans

3. They’re thinking of calling the film Raiders of the Lost Keys

2. Or Indiana Jones and the Temple of Coumadin

1. Or Indiana Jones and the…Wait, What Was I Searching For?
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.
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