Top ten most recent jobs I’ve held (with a nod to Stewart Francis)

10. I was a trampoline salesman… off and on.

9. I worked as half a horse at Disneyland, but quit while I was a head

8. I was a trapeze artist…but I was let go.

7. They wouldn’t believe that I wasn’t a thief when I was working as a school crossing guard – but all the signs were there

6. I worked in produce, which wasn’t exactly rocket salad

5. I tried being a mime…but now I can talk about it…
(Ever since my best friend became a mime, I haven’t heard from him)

3. I manufactured clown shoes…which was no small feat

2. I had to quit my job at the helium gas factory – I refuse to be spoken to in that tone!

1. I sold loose onions – until I got the sack

I’m not sure why I never got that job at Microsoft – they never answered my telegram
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

• Author Bio ^[1]
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Bob Sullivan ^[3]

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus ^[4] (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 ^[5] and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.

Latest posts by Bob Sullivan (Posts ^[6])

• Top ten reasons this will be my last Top Ten List ^[7] - April 30, 2018
• Top ten more syntax one-liners ^[8] - April 23, 2018
• Top ten more alcohol one-liners ^[9] - April 16, 2018
• Top ten more dog one-liners ^[10] - April 9, 2018
• Top ten revelations in the Stormy Daniels 60 Minutes interview ^[11] - April 2, 2018