Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingends & odd

Top ten things the Pilgrims would say if they were alive today

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10. “It seems the Indians here have their own ball team. Two if you count the Redskins!”

9. “This turkey tastes a little funny to me. What breed of turkey is ‘tofu’ exactly?”

8. “And if we wanted to spend the day with our Native Americanm brethren, why would we wish to visit the local gaming emporium?”

7. “Your ancestors came over on the Mayflower? Big deal!”

6. “And you say you can get advice on cooking your bird from yonder handheld talking machine?!”

5 “Of course, when we knew Betty White, she was still in pigtails.”

4. “There is no need to struggle. Why do you not just share the wishbone?”

3. “Jebediah, look! Their leader appears to be a Native American!”

2. “Celebrating this day with giant balloons of cartoon animals! Why did we not think of that?!”

1. “I just ate so much turkey, I had to loosen the buckle on my hat!
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.
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