10. “Boy, with Megyn Kelly starin’ at those ten dudes, it looks like the worst episode of The Bachelorette ever!”
9. “Have you seen that ad where Ted Cruz wraps bacon around the barrel of an assault rifle and fires off some shots so it’s sizzling? We can’t elect him; obviously he’s into pork-barrel politics.”
8. “So whose hair do you think is weirder, Trump’s or Rand Paul’s?”
7. “I don’t think life begins with conception. I think it begins when the guy says, ‘Do you come here often?’”
6. “Sure, I’d tap that Megyn Kelly. At least she’s not a fat pig like Rosie O’Donnell.”
5. “I think we should elect Ben Carson. I mean, once you go black…”
4. “I hear Trump’s called Immigration and is trying to get Marco Rubio deported.”
3. “Scott Walker promised, if he’s elected President, he’s going to change the preamble to The Constitution from ‘We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union…’ to ‘We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect country…’”
2. “Fox News tries to live up to its motto: ‘Fair and Balanced.’ To keep the debate fair, they’re not asking any questions involving math, and to keep it balanced, they’re putting Chris Christie on one side and the other nine on the other side.”
1. “Yeah I’d be willing to put Sarah Palin in my cabinet. At least she’s not a lipstick-wearing pig like Rosie O’Donnell.”
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
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Latest posts by Bob Sullivan (Posts [6])
- Top ten reasons this will be my last Top Ten List [7] - April 30, 2018
- Top ten more syntax one-liners [8] - April 23, 2018
- Top ten more alcohol one-liners [9] - April 16, 2018
- Top ten more dog one-liners [10] - April 9, 2018
- Top ten revelations in the Stormy Daniels 60 Minutes interview [11] - April 2, 2018