Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingends & odd

Top ten signs your home is due for a spring cleaning

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10. You have more burger wrappers than McDonald’s

9. When you move your Christmas tree, you find that missing Halloween pumpkin

8. You wipe your feet on the mat before stepping outside

7. When somebody asks, “What died in here?” you give them a list

6. The Health Department has declared your living room eligible for FEMA funds

5. The odor has that certain ‘flatulent-skunk-in-an-outhouse-getting-a-perm’ mystique

4. Your bathroom has hot and cold running goo

3. Even Jehovah’s Witnesses won’t come inside

2. One of the dust bunnies under your bed just bit you on the ankle

1. Something keeps closing your refrigerator door from the inside
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.
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