I have been declared Emperor of the World. Let us not waste time explaining why or how; let’s all simply accept the fact that we are better off, as a result; hence, my next decree:
Emperor’s Decree No. YG100: Hey, you guys! Listen, guys… You guys have to stop opening your guys’s sentences with “you guys” and saying “you guys” every other word. You guys are, like driving the Emperor crazy, you guys. Don’t make the Emperor slap you guys in chains. Okay guys? I mean, like, some of you guys aren’t even guys, so “you guys” just doesn’t make sense, guys.
The Punishment: You guys who use “you guys” will have your guys’s butts thrown into the Imperial Dungeons where you guys will meet some other guys who will make your guys’s lives miserable.
Okay guys? See you guys later.
Now, go forth and obey.
The Emperor will grace the world with a new decree each Tuesday morning.
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Chris Matarazzo [4]
Latest posts by Chris Matarazzo (Posts [8])
- Book Review: An Encyclopedia of Tolkien [9] - October 14, 2019
- The Emperor decrees an end to positive comments about “selfies” [10] - June 16, 2015
- The Emperor decrees that graduation clichés will cease [11] - June 9, 2015
- The Emperor decrees that all official documents will be printed in Comic Sans [12] - March 24, 2015
- The Emperor decrees that the letter “E” shall no longer be spoken as an “A” [13] - February 10, 2015