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Maybe not hit your kid with a stick?

Posted By Scott Warnock On In virtual children by Scott Warnock | 8 Comments

You’ve likely heard a lot about the Adrian Peterson debacle (including a good piece on this site [1]), but I’m not weighing in here on abuse, or whether he’s justifiably doing what was done to him, or even on the various dummies who’ve gotten some press time [2] because of this. I’m not writing about all that.

I’m also not going to debate corporal punishment or the difference between a smack on the butt and a welt- and bruise-inducing beat-down with a stick.

But I am interested in the way this story made me pause. Peterson, as you know, beat his kid with a stick. If you are like many (most?) parents, you had a day or two when you wanted to beat one or more of your kids with a stick. Because, you see, being a parent is hard, and among the hardest things is telling someone who is doing something blatantly wrong to stop doing it and watching them ignore you. Then throw in that you love that person more than anything and you’re stuck together for life.

I am not regularly around people who ignore me when I talk to them. Imagine you are on a road trip with friends. One keeps hitting the other, even though you’ve told him 13,000 times to stop. This would raise many issues, but one thing is for sure: You would never travel with that person again.

Yet, in 2011, we drove our three kids to North Carolina. In 2012, we drove to St. Louis. In 2013, we drove to Atlanta. In 2014, we drove to Maine. The things that have gone on in the back of that car? — my god, how can I not have learned my lesson? Why do I continue to spend time in a closed vehicle with these people? But they’re my kids, and I keep going to the well.

I paused when I saw stories about Peterson’s disciplinary tactics that were juxtaposed with videos of him doing his job, which involves regularly blasting through some of the toughest people in the world [3]. (By the way, Peterson, according to many, also has an almost inhumanly strong handshake [4].) My point: This guy is a masterpiece of human physiology.

I think I’m pretty tough, even at my advanced age. In fact, friends would no doubt say that one character flaw of mine (ah, just that one…) could be that I think I’m tougher than I am. Despite my delusions, if the physical monstrosity that is Adrian Peterson were coming at me angry, it would be scary. What must it be like to be four years old and see him coming at you mad? Forget Peterson. What must it be like to be four years old and see any adult coming you, giant, face distorted in anger, eyes ablaze?

Ever been that angry adult? You’ve got this wise-ass who won’t finish his dinner, who calls her mother a foul name, who punches his sibling in the neck, who steps up to you like “Yeah, whatcha gonna do about it?”, who keeps going into the street despite being told not to. You worked hard all day. Enough is enough.

We all get angry, but if you saw yourself through the eyes of that very small person would you maybe not shake him? Maybe not spank him? Maybe not smack him?

Maybe not hit your kid with a stick?

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Scott Warnock [8]

Scott Warnock is a writer and teacher who lives in South Jersey. He is a professor of English at Drexel University, where he is also the Associate Dean of Undergraduate Education in the College of Arts and Sciences. Father of three and husband of one, Scott is president of a local high school education foundation and spent many years coaching youth sports.
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