Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingends & odd

Top ten complaints of Danielle Davies, a 39-year-old New Jersey woman who is dating a life-size cardboard cutout of Bradley Cooper

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10. “The police still won’t let me use the car pool lane.”

9. “Every time we go to dinner, it always winds up being my treat!

8. “My Robert Downey Jr. cutout is always getting jealous.”

7. “The lack of a sense of humor at construction sites when I slip him under the wheels of a steam roller.”

6. “The ordeal of having to meet his cardboard cutout parents.”

5. “The fact that we can only go out when it’s not raining.”

4. “His constantly referring to himself as a ‘working stiff’.”

3. “It seems like I’m always the one who has to initiate sex.”

2. “Sometimes I get tired of his one-dimensional acting.”

1. “Paper cuts.”
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.
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