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Top ten reasons the Putins got divorced

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10. They were married for 30 years. Enough is enough!

9. Mrs. Putin was hoping, in the divorce settlement, she’d get half of Russia.

8. Edward Snowden leaked some photos of Vladimir in flagrante delicto with Russia gymnast Alina Kabaeva.

7. Vladimir was always ragging on Mrs. Putin for calling it “the Ukraine”.

6. During the Sochi Olympics, Vladimir finally realized how much he enjoys looking at Men’s Singles Figure Skaters.

5. Vladimir has been too upset to devote time to his marriage; in the last election, he only got 100% of the vote.

4. In Russia, you don’t enter into divorce; divorce enter into you. (What a country!)

3. Too much vodka.

2. Vladimir has seen so many shirtless photographs of himself, he finally decided that his body was the only one he needed.

1. Mrs. Putin caught Vladimir invading Georgia.

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.
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