I have been declared Emperor of the World. Let us not waste time explaining why or how; let’s all simply accept the fact that we are better off, as a result; hence, my next decree:
Emperor’s Decree No. 922105: You cannot make a story that is already long, short. So stop saying, “…to make a long story short…” It’s already long. You have already prattled and chuntered everyone into a coma. Shut up now. Make a long story stop.
The Punishment: Offenders will be beaten by the Imperial Torture Master for seven hours. Then, he will stop and walk away, saying, “…to make a long beating short…”
The Emperor will grace the world with a new decree each Tuesday morning.
- Author Bio [1]
- Latest Posts [2]
[3]Chris Matarazzo [4]
Chris Matarazzo is a writer, composer, musician and teacher of literature and writing on the college and high school levels. His music can be heard on his recent release, Hats and Rabbits [5], which is currently available. Chris is also the composer of the score to the off-beat independent film Surrender Dorothy [6] and he performs in the Philadelphia area with the King Richard Band. He's also a relatively prolific novelist, even if no one seems to care yet. His blog, also called Hats and Rabbits [7], is nice, too, if you get a chance...
[3]Latest posts by Chris Matarazzo (Posts [8])
- Book Review: An Encyclopedia of Tolkien [9] - October 14, 2019
- The Emperor decrees an end to positive comments about “selfies” [10] - June 16, 2015
- The Emperor decrees that graduation clichés will cease [11] - June 9, 2015
- The Emperor decrees that all official documents will be printed in Comic Sans [12] - March 24, 2015
- The Emperor decrees that the letter “E” shall no longer be spoken as an “A” [13] - February 10, 2015