Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingends & odd

Top ten lifeguard pickup lines

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10. “Need a little help with your breaststroke?”

9. “You’re also supposed to wait half an hour after making love.”

8. “Okay if I practice my mouth-to-mouth?”

7. “Want to play with my ‘pool toy’?”

6. “Help! I’m drowning!…In your eyes!”

5. “This isn’t a nude beach, but in your case I’ll make an exception.”

4. “I’m caught in an undertow of love.”

3. “Your body is harder than my plastic CPR dummy.”

2. “The sign says ‘Lifeguard on Duty,” but I wish it said ‘Lifeguard on Cutie’.”

1. “Look out there on the water, it’s just like us: buoy meets gull.”


Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.
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