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Top ten answers to the question “How hot is it?”

10. “It’s so hot, Michael Bloomberg was spotted drinking a Big Gulp.”

9. “It’s so hot, the Statue of Liberty has pit stains.”

8. “It’s so hot, Richard Simmons just came out with Heat-Stroking to the Oldies.”

7. “It’s so hot, nuns are wearing Daisy Dukes.”

6. “It’s so hot, the fish are sweating.”

5. “It’s so hot, George Zimmerman says he kinda wishes he’d been thrown in the ‘cooler’.”

4. “It’s so hot, Martha Stewart has started dating both Ben and Jerry.”

3. “It’s so hot, Chris Christie is making his own gravy.”

2. “It’s so hot, today I fried an egg…at room temperature.”

1. “It’s so hot, Paula Deen attended an NAACP meeting just for the chilly reception.”
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus [4] (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 [5] and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.

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