Top ten Paula Deen excuses
Posted on July 8th, 2013 by Bob Sullivan
10. “Where I grew up, we always believed in calling a spade a spade.”
9. “I was misheard; I was actually talking about chigger bites.”
8. “I suffer from foot-in-mouth disease.”
7. “I thought it stood for ‘Needing Inalienable God-Given Equal Rights’.”
6. “All that butter has clogged up my brain.”
5. “My pal George Zimmerman said it was okay.”
4. “I’m a Southern racist cracker — what did you expect?”
3. “I spell out everything in my new autobiography White Like Me.”
2. “I just wasn’t thinking…about all the endorsement deals I’d lose.”
1. “I was hoping to get my own show on Fox News.”
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.
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