Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingmoney

Top ten ways the United States could make or save money

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10. Have policemen and firefighters work on commission

9. Convince the EU to go in with us on a Groupon

8. Rent out Mount Rushmore to rappelling clubs

7. Put advertisements on our currency

6. Don’t pay mailmen anything, but let them keep whatever’s in every other package

5. Sell one of the Carolinas and one of the Dakotas

4. Put turnstiles in the border wall between Mexico and Texas

3. Charge visitors to the Statue of Liberty ten bucks to look up her robe

2. Turn the National Mall into a real mall

1. Only paying Congressmen for work that actually gets done

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.
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