The Emperor decrees that boneless Buffalo wings are banned

The Emperor decrees that boneless Buffalo wings are banned

Posted on April 23rd, 2013 by Chris Matarazzo

I have been declared Emperor of the World. Let us not waste time explaining why or how; let’s all simply accept the fact that we are better off, as a result; hence, my next decree:

Emperor’s Decree No. 10: Restaurants and taverns in the Empire are no longer allowed to sell “boneless Buffalo wings,” because they are a lie.

The Punishment: Anyone attempting to peddle these meaty imposters will be forced to use wing sauce as aftershave for the span of three weeks.

Now, go forth and obey.

The Emperor will grace the world with a new decree each Tuesday morning.

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Chris Matarazzo

Chris Matarazzo is a writer, composer, musician and teacher of literature and writing on the college and high school levels. His music can be heard on his recent release, Hats and Rabbits, which is currently available. Chris is also the composer of the score to the off-beat independent film Surrender Dorothy and he performs in the Philadelphia area with the King Richard Band. He's also a relatively prolific novelist, even if no one seems to care yet. His blog, also called Hats and Rabbits, is nice, too, if you get a chance...