his & hersThe Emperor decrees

The Emperor decrees a reduction in media message-sending

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I have been declared Emperor of the World. Let us not waste time explaining why or how; let’s all simply accept the fact that we are better off, as a result; hence, my next decree:

Emperor’s Decree No. 1/10: The Emperor is sympathetic to the historical subjugation of women; to the unfair treatment they have received (and still receive) at the hands of a male-dominated world. The Emperor also recognizes that attempts have been (and should have been) made in the arts and in media to paint women in a more dignified and empowered light. This should continue. But, in the interest of balancing things out as the obese ship of society rights itself, we think it would be okay to lighten up just a little with the message-sending. Therefore, henceforth, the Emperor decrees that, in a minimum of one-out-of-ten television commercials, the woman/wife/girlfriend in a couple must be depicted as the idiot, instead of the man/father/boyfriend. Just one out of ten, is all we ask. Also, one-out-of-ten female characters in action movies must NOT be a Kung Fu, sword-wielding, back-flipping, killing machine. Let the campaign for total sexual equality continue! Let’s continue to hurl the stones of social-conscience at the glass ceiling! — let’s just cut back the heavy-handedness by one-tenth. Let’s have the pendulum swing back, just a bit (if you will excuse the decidedly male-centric metaphor).

The Punishment: Violators will suffer the loss of one-out-of-ten toes. (Or of one pendulum — violator’s choice.)

Now, go forth and obey.

The Emperor will grace the world with a new decree each Tuesday morning. 

Chris Matarazzo is a writer, composer, musician and teacher of literature and writing on the college and high school levels. His music can be heard on his recent release, Hats and Rabbits, which is currently available. Chris is also the composer of the score to the off-beat independent film Surrender Dorothy and he performs in the Philadelphia area with the King Richard Band. He's also a relatively prolific novelist, even if no one seems to care yet. His blog, also called Hats and Rabbits, is nice, too, if you get a chance...
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