Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingends & odd

My top ten new year’s resolutions

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10. I resolve never again to smash into somebody’s car just to knock the cell phone out of their hand

9. I resolve to eat my weight in penuchi

8. I resolve to finally find Waldo

7. I resolve to not blame the dog when I fart

6. I resolve to finally give up trying to lose weight, and instead will grow six inches taller

5. I resolve to e-mail back that nice Nigerian prince who keeps trying to contact me

4. I resolve not sit at the computer all day (I’m writing this standing up)

3. I resolve to only eat white snow

2. I resolve to keep all my resolutions to myself this year

1. I resolve to be more resolute with all my resolutions!

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.
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