10. “Is Joan Rivers still around? We dated in high school.”

9. “Yes the voyage was long and arduous – kind of like Jet Blue with legroom.”

8. “If I knew it was going to lead to Jersey Shore, I would have stayed in Spain.”

7. “Did anybody ever find the East Indies?”

6. “How would I get to the city called ‘Me, Ohio’?”

5. “We had a ‘Don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy on the Santa Maria, as well.”

4. “Where can I get my hands on that iPhone 5?”

3. “My God! All you Indians have gotten so fat!”

2. “I’m 561 years old. Shouldn’t somebody be calling the Guinness people?”

1. “Why do Republicans keep asking me why I didn’t fall off the edge?”
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

• Author Bio
• Latest Posts

Bob Sullivan

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.

Latest posts by Bob Sullivan (Posts)

• Top ten reasons this will be my last Top Ten List - April 30, 2018
• Top ten more syntax one-liners - April 23, 2018
• Top ten more alcohol one-liners - April 16, 2018
• Top ten more dog one-liners - April 9, 2018
• Top ten revelations in the Stormy Daniels 60 Minutes interview - April 2, 2018

Tags: Bob Sullivan's top ten everything, education // Add Comment »