Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingscience

Top ten inventions I’m waiting for

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10. An alarm clock with a 12-hour snooze alarm

9. An artificial sincerity pill

8. A pair of socks that signal each other when one gets lost in the dryer

7. A looser straight jacket

6. A cell phone that blocks the signals of all other cell phones in the room, for when I go to the movies

5. A television with a built-in Adam Sandler filter

4. A negative-calorie cookie

3. A mechanical Mitt Romney (but then, how would you tell the difference?)

2. Self-cleaning underwear

1. The bus (please re-read title)

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.
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