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Top ten things overheard at today’s Labor Day barbecue

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10. “Hope you like tofu burgers!”

9. “That’s not mayonnaise; you’re standing under a tree.”

8. “Is my hot dog supposed to have an engagement ring on it?”

7. “Which is the burger and which is the charcoal?”

6. “Call 911! Call 911!”

5. “Everything on the grill still has a tail on it!”

4. “Wish somebody had told me this BBQ was BYO!”

3. “Who chugged all the lighter fluid?”

2. “I think Grandma lost her dentures in the potato salad again.”

1. “Is coleslaw supposed to move?”
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.
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