The Emperor decrees that thou shalt buy lemonade from industrious children

The Emperor decrees that thou shalt buy lemonade from industrious children

Posted on June 26th, 2012 by Chris Matarazzo

I have been declared Emperor of the World. Let us not waste time explaining why or how; let’s all simply accept the fact that we are better off, as a result; hence, my next decree:

Emperor’s Decree No. 56 ½: From this point forward, drivers and walkers are required to stop at any lemonade stand that is set up and run by children. All adults are further required to give the kids a dollar and to instruct said little ones to keep the change. For the love of Pete, it is summer and these kids are doing something industrious. Hook them up, if only to show your own vacuous, screen-gazing hunchbacks (lolling languidly in the back seat of your air-conditioned, multiple-DVD-spinning minivan) that hard, honest work should be rewarded. The Emperor supports the cultivation of productive thralls…uh, beloved subjects.

The Punishment: Anyone seen callously driving or walking past a lemonade stand will be sent to the Dungeon of Fate where he or she will be forced to choose between three glass goblets full of apparently identical yellow liquids. Only one of the goblets will actually contain lemonade.

(The Emperor would like to thank his faithful minion, Lara, for pointing out this common transgression.)

The Emperor will grace the world with a new decree each Tuesday morning.

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Chris Matarazzo

Chris Matarazzo is a writer, composer, musician and teacher of literature and writing on the college and high school levels. His music can be heard on his recent release, Hats and Rabbits, which is currently available. Chris is also the composer of the score to the off-beat independent film Surrender Dorothy and he performs in the Philadelphia area with the King Richard Band. He's also a relatively prolific novelist, even if no one seems to care yet. His blog, also called Hats and Rabbits, is nice, too, if you get a chance...