Top ten signs your kids hate you
Posted on June 11th, 2012 by Bob Sullivan
10. Their affectionate name for you is ‘Meal Ticket’
9. Instead of jumping on the bed to wake you, they use IEDs
8. Before every barbecue, they fill the grill to the brim with lighter fluid
7. They gave you a “World’s Greatest Dad” mug, but they crossed out ‘Greatest’ and wrote in ‘Dumbest’
6. They bought Mom The Big Book of Divorce Attorneys
5. On Father–Son Day at their school, they brought in a street wino
4. They keep claiming that the circular saw they bought you is “shower safe”
3. They’re always asking Mom, “What were you thinking?!”
2. Last Father’s Day, they gave you a Do-It-Yourself Vasectomy Kit
1. They replaced all your Lipitor with Tic Tacs
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.
Latest posts by Bob Sullivan (Posts)
- Top ten reasons this will be my last Top Ten List - April 30, 2018
- Top ten more syntax one-liners - April 23, 2018
- Top ten more alcohol one-liners - April 16, 2018
- Top ten more dog one-liners - April 9, 2018
- Top ten revelations in the Stormy Daniels 60 Minutes interview - April 2, 2018
Print This Post
Discussion Area - Leave a Comment