Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingmoney

Top ten signs you’ve hired a bad tax accountant

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10. His last client was Gary Busey

9. It takes him 45 minutes to figure out his tip at the Hair Cuttery

8. He claims bajillion is a real number

7. He promises to visit you in prison

6. When you get a closer look at his ‘calculator’ you realize he’s just playing Angry Birds

5. He says he spend a lot of time consulting with his own tax adviser: Johnnie Walker

4. When you point out a math error, he says, “Ahhh, five of one, half a dozen of the other.”

3. He claims your refund is actually supposed to go to him

2. He does his calculating in the nude, so he can count to 21

1. Before every number on your tax form, he puts one of those ‘more or less’ squiggles

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.
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